I got married in January this year. Within a month of our marriage, my wife declared that she did not want to stay in Mumbai but Bangalore, where her parents and an older sister reside
Dear Diana,
I got married in January this year. Within a month of our marriage, my wife declared that she did not want to stay in Mumbai but Bangalore, where her parents and an older sister reside. She said she wanted to complete a computer course she had been pursuing before our wedding. I let her go as she had to complete only the practical work which would require three weeks of stay. She told me she would not get a certificate otherwise. But even after completing the course, she now refuses to return. She has made my life miserable. As her sister is married, she makes an excuse that she has to be around for her parents. My wife tells me to relocate to Bangalore. Prior to marriage, she would tell me how she was looking forward to her stay in Mumbai. Now she is refusing to stay in Mumbai! Why is she doing a volte-face now? Why did she not think of all this before marriage? I am in a dilemma now. And it is barely six months into our marriage! Should I divorce her?
-u00a0Ashley
Dear Ashley,
You need to knock sense in your wife's head. Her behaviour is most unwanted. You need to talk to her and her parents immediately. Best is to discuss the issue together. When she got married to you, she knew she would have to relocate, so why is she making a fuss now? Playing the parents card is unnecessary. As if she is the only girl in the world who has got married and left her parents behind. All this while, you let her have her way, so now she feels she can do what she wants. A serious talk is needed to sort out the issue. If she feels concerned about her parents, check with her elder sister who lives in same city to keep an eye on them. Also check with them if they need any special help at home. Tell them that they can visit Mumbai often in case if they miss their daughter. It is clear that your wife is making unreasonable demands. If talks fail tell her you do not want to continue living life like this. There are several people in a long-distance relationship due to their careers, but her reasons are not genuine. Give her some time to make up her mind. I am sure she will see sense. As a last resort think of a separation ufffd only when she proves to be adamant and refuses to change her stance.
I don't have a guy!
Dear Diana,
I am 26 and have not yet found a guy. All my friends are married, so there is this immense pressure why I am still single. I am happy working in a travel agency. At the moment, I do not even feel like getting married? Am I normal?
-u00a0SV
Dear SV,
Good heavens, what makes you think you are not normal! My dear, you are doing just fine. You are 26 and marriage can happen at a later age. Immerse yourself in work and enjoy it. I am sure you will meet that someone special. Be patient, my girl! Love happens, you do not plan for it.
My mother has become aloof
Dear Diana,
Two years ago my father passed away. Ever since my mother has became aloof and distanced herself from things around her. She detests going out and prefers to stay at home. She says she is just counting her remaining days. There is nothing that interests her now. How can I help her live her life yet again? I am an only child.
-u00a0Name withheld on request
Dear Friend,
Your mother is depressed and feeling lonely. Many people go through this phase after being married for decades. They feel a vacuum in their lives and feel they, too, should stop living after the demise of their partners. It's been two years since your father passed away, you need to tell her to get back to her life, for your sake. Tell her you feel miserable by seeing her in this condition. Tell her to be part of her friends' circle yet again. Plan get-togethers for them. Make your mom accompany you for stuff like shopping and outings. Explain to her that by cutting herself from the world, she will get even more depressed which will result in health problems.
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