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Missing erotic charge?

Updated on: 20 April,2009 09:23 AM IST  | 
Kumar Saurav |

Sexlessness doesn't mean no sex. Similarly, a relationship minus sex doesn't mean the absence of love.

Missing erotic charge?

Sexlessness doesn't mean no sex. Similarly, a relationship minus sex doesn't mean the absence of love. Technically, if you don't make out more than 10 times a year, your sex life is not on the right track and you're suffering from sexlessness. Beyond definitions, there are several extensions to this pervasive relationship problem. We delve deeper.
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Take it seriously
To make a relationship work is a pressure in itself and a sexless relationship is not just a small hiccup. It can lead to split, two timings and even domestic violence. So don't take it lightly. Also, it's very important that you identify it on time and basically repair the 'damage'. " The entire experience could be traumatic. Couple suffering from it must take counselling because with time it becomes too acute to be handled," remarks Dr Anup Dhiris, sexologist and andrologist. "Sex should be bonding but not binding. Having said that, it's very important that you realise the importance of climax. A good sex life is one of the signs of a healthy relationship," opines sexologist Dr Prakash Kothari.


Why it happens
Time changes and so do priorities. You may be at a stage of life when you're too busy raising children, finishing household chores and fulfilling professional commitments that bedroom intimacy is not on the cards. Further, even financial woes can add to the pressure. If one of you is having an affair, there is clearly a love issue. Even ego hassles could create the dent.u00a0 "Apart from psychological reason, the explanation also lies in biological domains like erection problems and vaginal pain during penetration," adds Dr Anup.u00a0


Wonder tips
You stop talking, you stop making u2014 that's the thumb rule. There is nothing wrong in initiating the first step even if you're the one to be blamed or the one who isn't getting any sex. So first restore the communication. Secondly, shrink the physical distance by getting closer to your partner while cooking, dusting or watching movies. Remember, nothing electrifies more than the sting from skin-to-skin contact. Make your bedroom a sex nest where you could play games of lust. Zip off to a nearby hill station; kids can stay with their grannies and laptop with the IT department of your office for regular upgradation. Keep in mind that the causes are varied and so are the cures. Pick what suits you. If it's hormonal, consult a doctor or if it's psychological, visit a psychologist. And you think you're capable of doing it yourself, nothing like it.


What not to do
Libido enhancing drugs wouldn't help beyond one time assistance. Don't consult someone who hasn't gone through it because for them the dive in the sexlife holds no relevance. Don't expect you sex life to be back on the burner instantly. Go slow. Not flirting is certainly not a good idea because being mischievous is the surest way to instil romance to a dying sex life.u00a0 So tonight play tight!

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