Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

I cannot be a good wife, as my parents are divorced?

I cannot be a good wife, as my parents are divorced?

Illustration/ satish acharya

I am 26 years old. My parents divorced 10 years ago and I have been living with my mum since then. Anyway, I have been dating this great guy for the past two years. We are totally in love and our parents were aware of it. When he proposed recently, I accepted. But when he told his parents about it, they said they didn't want me as their daughter-in-law. They say since my parents are divorced, they haveu00a0 not taught me the art of keeping the family together and I might not be able to ensure stability of the family. I tried to explain to them that the divorce was amicable and I amu00a0 in touch with my dad too, but they are still against the match. They were okay when I was just his girlfriend. My guy has been fuming about this ever since they made their view clear. He has stated that if they don't accept me, he will no longer have anything to do with them. He is their only son and I don't want to be the cause of a rift between them. But I love him and can't see myself without him. What do I do?
Suchitra

Dear Suchitra,
First, thank the stars that you've got a guy who is willing to stand by you ufffd even if it means that his parents did something right in raising him. By making his stand clear, he has proven that he loves you beyond everybody else. Now it's your turn. Talk to your parents and see if they will be willing to come together and meet your guy's parents. Your (hopefully) future in-laws will be more willing to listen to your parents than to you. You also need to understand that while his parents are being totally orthodox and dogmatic about their stand, it is only out of concern for their son. Convince them that you love their son and you don't want him to part ways with them. Since your parents are divorced, you are more capable of understanding the need for a stable family than others. Talk to them about a resolution, in your guy's presence. If nothing works, then stand by your guy. He is a great one, don't give him up. His parents are sure to come around, sooner or later. If they don't, you have to take some hard decisions.

Will scars affect my love life?

Dear Diana,
I'm a 15-year-old girl. Two years ago I was in a car accident that left many scars on my arms and legs. I'm not very self conscious about them usually, however I was wondering if boys react differently to a girl who has scars?
Name withheld on request

Dear Friend,
Truthfully, some boys might. But a good guyu00a0 will realise you've had challenges and will look beyond the scars. We all have flaws and some are more severe than others. People see them and pass judgement one way or another, but true love will see past that... I promise.

What does size have to do with it?

Dear Diana,
I am a 24-year-old girl. I have been gaining weight for the last few years due to a health problem. I cannot exercise due to my condition. I have never been large before. All my life I have been normal sized. And now I notice that people view and treat me differently. It is really depressing, and I am having a hard time dealing with this. How come people don't like others just because they are fat? What does how much you weigh have to do with the person you are? I am the same girl I was, but everyone perceives me differently. People even stare and pass comments. How do I deal with this?
Preetha

Dear Preetha,
Most people don't care if someone is fat unless romance is involved. But it is not just larger people who are stereotyped, so don't take it personally. People tend to think that fat guys are lazy and are that way because they choose to be. What is important is personality. The sad thing is that large people really have to work to show people their personality, while the thin guys have it easier.u00a0 Another thing is that some people are just not attracted to larger people while some are. Don't get affected by stares or comments. You know the truth about yourself. Strangers don't. Don't accept their definitions of you. Walk proudly and ignore the fools who judge you by your looks.

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