I am a 26-year-old guy. Four months ago, I moved to this building as a paying guest. My neighbour is a 38-years-old divorcee with a seven year old son
Dear Diana,
I am a 26-year-old guy. Four months ago, I moved to this building as a paying guest. My neighbour is a 38-years-old divorcee with a seven year old son. Several times we would bump into each other at the elevator. Once I gave her a lift on my bike as she was late for work. 
Then I began giving her lifts back home so she didn't have to wait for the bus. During the Diwali holidays, she and her son went to meet her parents in another city. She came back, her son stayed back. We went to a movie, brought dinner and drinks back to her place and made out that night.
We would make out every night tillu00a0 her son returned. Now we have sex at my place at night when her son is asleep and her maid takes care of him.
Her parents will be coming over next week and we plan to go on a holiday. This is the first time I will be staying with any woman this way. I want to surprise her and propose during the trip. But I am very nervous. We've been discreet; only the maid knows about our affair.
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Name withheld
Dear Friend,
I suggest before popping the question, you ask her casually about what her plans are for the future, and if she has thought about settling down. That way you might be able to avoid disappointment. It is possible that this is only a physical thing for her. Not all divorcees with a child are looking to get hitched. Also four months is too soon to ask someone to get married.
I think you should wait a while. Since you've never been with another woman before, perhaps you are getting carried away. Normally I don't think age difference should be an issue with a couple in love but I want to ask you if you've thought this through. She is twelve years older than you.
That may not seem a lot now but when you are 38, she will be 50. Just enjoy her company and your time together for now. Wait for a few more months to see if you still feel the same way about her. Get to know her better. Right now, all you seem to have is sex together. That isn't enough to put marriage on the table.u00a0u00a0
How to reassure my sis that it'll be okay?
Dear Diana,
My younger sister wants to do her graduation abroad, but she is a very shy girl and is nervous about coping with a whole different culture. I want to reassure her but I don't have the right words.
Nitin
Dear Nitin,
Just have her chat with a counseller. Or some other student who has done this. Yes, it won't be easy but thousands of Indian students go to various countries every year, and they do well for themselves. Encourage her to open up to people, and make her own decisions etc. That will help her cope.
He's comparing me to his ex...
Dear Diana,
I am deeply in love with a guy and I am also very possessive about him. I love him from the bottom of my heart and don't want to lose him. He had a girlfriend who ditched him more than a year ago. A few days back, we had an argument. I don't know whether it was just the heat of the moment, but he said about his ex, "I loved her a lot and she used to understand me better than you do." He has also not introduced me to his family yet. When I asked him, he said, "My family said that maybe that girl would have been better." What do I do?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Sometimes people say things in a rush of anger. Don't pay too much attention to it. If it is still bothering you, have a chat with your guy and tell him that his words hurt you. Ask him if he really feels that way, now that he is calm. If he says yes, perhaps you need to look at your attitude. Ask your friends and family if they too feel that you have bad attitude, if so, work on it.
If they don't agree then perhaps your boyfriend doesnt understand you and is being critical. You have chat about this, and figure out if you can both get past this and make it work. Be realistic. No point being with him for two years while he still thinks his ex was best for him. If you have to take a painful decision, do it now rather than later.
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