Those who think that a sexual revolution would solve all our problems need to look closely at different ethicalities and their histories across the globe, writes Sushumna Kannan
Those who think that a sexual revolution would solve all our problems need to look closely at different ethicalities and their histories across the globe, writes Sushumna Kannan
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No matter what, Indians, who have not travelled to the west, are prey to some very quaint notions about life and times there. We always, and remarkably consistently at that, think that westerners (foreigners) neither have families nor feel pain over the loss of dear ones, although HBO or Star Movies paint somewhat different pictures.
In Europe, Indians are still famous for picking their noses! Yes. Really. So on both the sides, 'east' and 'west', it is the same thing. The west is absorbed through the frame provided by our culture and they absorb us through their own frames.u00a0
Some months ago I travelled to Barcelona and stayed there at a bed-n-breakfast kind of a youth hostel for four days.
For nearly two nights the room-heater did not work effectively and I had sleepless nights. I had ignored this, thinking it was a change of place that had kept me awake; sometimes the cold eludes us, if we have travelled from a colder place to a warmer one. On the third night, it was unbearable and I went to the receptionist to complain about the now fully dysfunctional room-heater.
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The young man was very worried about bending the rules and giving me another room. I persisted, saying I cannot sleep at all and that he had to do something. He said with a smile that I was very welcome in his own room and we both quickly laughed the joke away.u00a0
When I didn't buy the "we-will-see-in-the-morning" assurances, he started to wonder very seriously as to what he could do. He muttered to himself (aloud) that he could not put me in the same room with the German boys who were drunk (Yes, read 'Spain's frame of German history'). And then, that he could not put me in some other place because that was not safe either.
He said he would put me with two other girls and I shifted my room overnight. When he finally decided, he spent a full minute telling me of the significance of this out-of-rule favour he had done for me, something apparently very rare on his part. I was surprised later on when the situation dawned fully on me.u00a0
For all the claim of being a mixed-sex youth hostel, here was this man worried about my safety. He had never used the mixed-sex funda as easily as one could have.
For all the rules and deterrents for rape and the supposedly wonderful sexual revolution of the west, it was still unsafe for a woman to sleep in a dorm with men.u00a0
In India, the situation would have been this: The man would not worry about bending the rules. Knowing that such problems may arise, no mixed-sex dorms would ever be built.u00a0
And as soon as people saw you were a woman and alone, they would lead you away (quickly) to safer zones.u00a0
Although this does frustrate me while I am here in India, part of this is the effect of all the background knowledge of possible harm and is not in itself always a prejudice against women or a curbing of their freedom.
Those who think that the lack of a sexual revolution in India poses the threat of rape or that a sexual revolution would solve all our problems need to look closely at the emergence of different ethicalities and their histories across the globe.u00a0
I continue to be amazed at how in the west a situation is considered afresh and from the start, each and every single time (and they are rightly famous for obsessing about rules and contracts), although the conclusions and concerns are humane, and in fact quite similar to the Indian ones.
And then, I am somewhat less surprised by the Indian mother's "get-home-before-dark" (curfew) slogan.
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(The writer is a doctoral student in Cultural Studies at the Centre for the Study of Culture and Society, Bangalore.)
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