mid-day's women writers put up worn shoes for sale online, and 9 out of 10 bids came from men. Here's how the kink culture of foot fetish is playing out on the country’s classifieds portals
The four pairs of used shoes that women writers from the mid-day newsroom put up on sale for this article. The teal peep-toes and strappy leather flats received maximum queries. Pics/Ashish Rane
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Within an hour of putting up two pictures — one of strappy, black leather sandals and another of black suede kitten heels — this writer’s chat wall on a site selling second-hand buys, starts beeping furiously.
'Maalkin,' writes one user (later identified as User A). He says he is a 36-year-old male in a southern Indian metro. It’s one of many similar terms he will use in the course of the chat — ranging from ‘goddess’ to ‘ma’am’ — to make an aggressive pitch for the worn-out flats. While e-fashion stores are offering 50 per cent Diwali dhamaka discounts that week, this gentleman yearns for our older-the-better women’s shoes.
User A harbours what’s termed a foot fetish. A more modern way of terming a fetish is partialism, coined by Dr Martin Kafka in the 2010 issue of the Archives of Sexual Behavior. It’s 'a sexual interest with an exclusive focus of a specific part of the body', he writes. And specific sexual interest in feet may not be as uncommon as we think. Dr Debra Laino, a sex therapist and educator based in Delaware, America, is the author of Sex Therapy 101. She says in an email interview that while there is no good estimate of how widespread fetishes are (as most are still underground), foot and shoe fetishes are very common. "There is a historical piece to feet, ankles and toes being an erotic area, to this day, if you look at fashion and how we dress up the feet, women specifically," she adds.
And, for some Indian men, the fetish plays out on e-commerce platforms where used items are resold. Within two hours of putting up a pair of black kitten heels (Rs 550), black leather sandals (Rs 450), teal suede peep-toe wedges (Rs 400) and sand heeled suede boots (Rs 1,500), we received 15 responses. Of these enquiries, only one was from a woman.
Typical questions put to us
included, ‘how old are they?’; ‘can you send pictures of the sole?’, ‘can you wear the shoes and send a picture?’ The more worn out, the better.
Carrying a mild lingering odour of your skin? Perfect.
California-based psychosexual therapist Dr Sara Nasserzadeh says, “Old shoes come with a sense of smell. Smell is the deepest sensation that we have. For instance, couples come to us and say, I just don’t want to make love to my husband. Then they realise that he has changed his cologne.”
Most buyers don’t shy away from telling you they want old shoes. But, few will be honest. Some will give the excuse of a girlfriend. Others will say they wish to donate to an NGO. But why donate an old pair? No response. Instead, there is a return to the transaction at hand, ‘do you want to sell them?’
One user, through two days of conversation, insists he wants to buy a pair only to clean them. It turns out, cleaning is an important part of the play.
"As revolting as it may sound, used shoes feel and taste different. Moreover, they need maintenance, which makes it all the more exciting,” says a 32-year-old medical practitioner from Pune, requesting anonymity. We call him User B.
Cleaning, he explains, is usually done with the tongue. “I venerate the shoe — kiss it, smell it, worship it,” he types matter-of-factly on the portal’s chat window.
"The two fetishes are closely connected, we don’t know what exactly turns someone on — the leather and texture or the impression of the feet. Unlike animals who lead a sexual life, humans are driven by imagination, making it an erotic life,” explains Deepak Kashyap, counselling psychologist.
mid-day writer: What do you like about feet?
User A: They are beautiful. I love to be under them. Being under them is adoration of the woman.
Both users that mid-day spoke to over the course of 10 days were men with foot fetishes, and submissives or the weaker one in dominant sexual engagements. For both, the fetish was something they began to acknowledge around the age of 12 i.e. just as they hit puberty. User A says he realised he liked to “view feet” and enjoy their shape and size.
Laino says that while there’s little connect between foot fetish and typical BDSM behaviour, “Some people who practise BDSM, enjoy foot bondage which could be viewed as one layer in the fetish. For some, there can be a humiliation aspect involved. For example, a Dom (dominant woman partner) ‘playing’ with a Sub (submissive male) in a way that he is only good enough to touch her feet.”
BDSM is an acronym for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism and refers to erotic practices that involve four of the above.
Explaining how a foot fetish may play out in the act of sexual intercourse, she says that often there is no penetration. “It is the foot that allows the person to reach their erotic threshold. And, there are differing degrees. So, playing with, sucking, decorating the foot/feet may be part of foreplay or afterplay. While men and women with fetishes can be aroused by other body parts, the foot remains their erotic point,” she adds.
User B says, “Being a submissive, I like to be ‘trampled’ on. Trampling is a term used in BDSM for digging shoes onto a person. So, by say offering a foot massage, I am able to be humble, and that is a turn on for me. Similarly with cleaning shoes,” he adds.
What he loves most, though, is being used as a footstool; him bending over and the lady stepping on him with one foot “like a victor”.
It’s a practice neither User A or B have been able to explore with their partners.
User B, who had an arranged marriage two years ago, says that of the 50 pairs of used footwear he had stashed away at his workplace, none belong to his wife. “She knows about my fetish, but not about the fact that I purchase shoes online,” he says. His wife has had a more conservative, traditional upbringing, “so, it wasn’t easy to confess to her”. He adds that he made her watch videos and read up to help her understand. “It was great as long as it lasted, which was the first one-and-a-half months after we wed. Then I realised that she is not comfortable with the idea, and I never tried it again.”
It’s for this reason that User A remains single and unsatisfied in regular relationships.
Asked if he had ever shared his fetish with women he dated, he says, “No. Just been normal.” He admits it’s a bit claustrophobic, but it’s a necessity. “Occasionally, I may have adored their feet for a moment.” Marriage is not a possibility, because he wants dominant women and “it’s hard to find Dom girls”.
User B first chanced upon used shoes on OLX while browsing the site for other items. “I like the anonymity of online shopping. The interface makes it easier to talk to sellers,” he says.
It has been two years since he started buying shoes on the portal. “But I always tell the women upfront that I’m a guy with a fetish of sorts. Most get horrified and disappear. Some ask what I do with them. I tell them I collect them,” he says. The desire to make a quick buck, eventually brings them back. “It’s purely business. I pay them, and they need to ensure the shoes reach me.”
However, there have been times when the item didn’t match his expectation, but he has never returned a pair or complained. “A deal is a deal.”
The industry is also promoted by women who regularly sell used footwear online to well, make an extra buck while decluttering. One is a seller in Noida, Uttar Pradesh. “I used to work for a footwear business, and ended up with a lot of shoe pairs. This was a good way to discard them,” says the woman who put up the shoes on sale regularly for two years. However, when a job shift made new footwear hard to come by, she logged off the site. “In the past, I would receive requests from men, who would claim upfront that they needed it for their fetish. I would turn them down saying it’s meant for women,” says the 30-year-old. However, she does admit selling it to men, who would claim ‘they wish to gift the pair to their girlfriends’.
One of the users that we chanced upon was a man in it for the money.
He says he was introduced to the industry via Facebook. “I now buy pairs at low price and sell them at a profit.” Old socks and stockings can also fetch a premium, he says.
As most passions go, this fetish comes at a financial cost. User A knows that it’s cheaper to buy “well used shoes with feet marks and dirt” for which people won’t charge much. He usually pays between Rs 100 and Rs 500 for a pair.
The medical practitioner sets aside Rs 3,000 every month from his budget to shop online.
Currently, his collection includes 50 pairs that range from classic stilettos to patent leather boots, brogues and even sneakers. “I haven’t yet discarded any because the older they get, the better they become. Just like wine.” The most expensive pair that User B has bought are Italian boots for Rs 4,000. “I don’t let my expenditure go beyond Rs 15,000 a year. I don’t want this to overpower my other needs.”
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