The ease of staying connected through various mediums hasn't stopped the erosion of friendships due to busy lives, workplace stress and other commitments. As Friendship Day 2023 approaches, experts offer advice to nurture and sustain meaningful friendships
You must try meeting your friends once in two or three months and get on a call at least once a week. Photo Courtesy: iStock
In today's fast-paced world, maintaining meaningful friendships has become a challenge. Despite the numerous communication options available, many individuals find their friends struggling to find time for meaningful conversations and meetups. Friendship Day 2023 presents an opportunity to revitalize these connections. We spoke to Mumbai experts who provided valuable tips to nurture and cherish friendships amidst the daily chaos of life.
Shahzeen Shivdasani, a relationship expert and millennial author of the book Love, Lust and Lemons, highlights the importance of friends in personal growth and support. “Friends play a huge role in people's lives and are extremely important. They help us in developing ourselves by offering motivation and encouragement, by having shared experiences that allow us to grow, by broadening perspectives and by providing constructive feedback and emotional support,” Shivdasani says.
Yoshita Dave, a counselling psychologist, intimacy coach and educator at Meheryash Counselling Consultancy emphasizes the role of friendships in emotional well-being. “A friend will always help you in your tough times, help you achieve goals, clear thoughts or just hang out at some place together. Being social beings, each one of us requires friends.”
Both experts acknowledge that busy lifestyles often lead to lost connections. To address this, they recommend trying to communicate during times of distress and regularly checking in on friends. Whether through video calls, phone calls, or texting, staying in touch is vital.
Shivdasani says: “Certain responsibilities in life can keep you so preoccupied making it difficult for friends to keep in touch at most times. However, it should be paid attention to because every relationship, even friendship, requires nurturing and investing. You must especially speak to your friends in times of distress.”
Dave adds: “Due to busy schedules, personal commitments and physical/geographical distances make it difficult for friends to meet or even talk to each other. This, though, can be corrected by putting in the right efforts. If finding time to meet is an issue, connect over calls once in a while. But you must find time to meet too. You must try meeting your friends once in two or three months and get on a call at least once a week.”
Both Shivdasani and Dave share tips to nurture friendships:
1. Share funny memes or texts with each other whenever possible.
2. Be there for each other in times of crisis. That's very important.
3. If one can't reach out to their family in time of crisis try to be there for them in person if possible.
4. Send gifts to each other for no reason at all.
5. Surprise them from time to time to show your love and care for them.
6. Finding common hobbies can help with a deeper connection.
7. Stay in touch via video calls, WhatsApp, and phone calls even if your next meeting is a few weeks away.
8. Be flexible and understanding towards one another.
9. Plan group activities. These create fun and lasting memories.
10. Organise regular hangouts where you spend time one on one.
Dealing with unresponsive friends
If a friend seems unresponsive or distant, experts advise initiating a conversation to understand their perspective. Being empathetic towards their challenges and giving them space can help maintain the friendship. However, it's essential to acknowledge that some friendships may naturally evolve and change over time.
Shivdasani says that if your friend is not reciprocating the same efforts, ask them once if there is any reason for the behaviour. Hear them out and try to be understanding of their reasons. After doing this, take a step back and let them reach out. Perhaps they have a lot more going on in their life and it is difficult for them currently to manage their time. Let them figure it out and come back to you when they can meet and talk.
Dave suggest talk to the unresponsive friends and trying find a solution. “If your friend is unresponsive beyond a limit or ghosting you then begin maintaining a distance. Remember, not all your friends are meant to stay with you forever. Some stay only for a period of time. View the situation from this perspective and move on. The dynamics of friendships keep changing as we grow and evolve or even when we meet more new friends,” she says.
Conflict resolution in friendships
Friendships may encounter conflicts, and that's normal. Open communication, understanding differing viewpoints, compromising, and learning to apologize and forgive are crucial for conflict resolution. If needed, involving a common friend or seeking professional help can facilitate reconciliation.
Shivdasani says open communication is key. Try to be understanding towards each other’s viewpoints. Compromising and finding a middle ground is also very important. Be open to apologizing when you’re wrong and learn to forgive when they are. Lastly, it is also okay to take a break from the relationship if needed, however, let them know that you need your space.
Dave also insists on dialogue. If that is not possible, drop a text expressing yourself and understand the other person's viewpoint. If that fails then involve a common friend to be a mediator. Or if need be, visit a therapist to help yourself deal with the conflict better.
Also Read: Check these Mumbai eateries to celebrate Friendship’s Day 2023 with your friends
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