In a world where the definition of patriotism is being contested, and perverted, in equal measure, ask any international sportsperson how it feels to represent their country, and their answer will almost always be: "A privilege"
In a team sport, you represent everything that your opponents, officials and spectators will ever encounter first-hand about a country called India
In a team sport, you represent everything that your opponents, officials and spectators will ever encounter first-hand about a country called India
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In a world where the definition of patriotism is being contested, and perverted, in equal measure, ask any international sportsperson how it feels to represent their country, and their answer will almost always be: "A privilege". No chest-thumping, no macho-swagger. That is because once you get on to a field of play, and play your sport at the highest level, you understand it's not about winning or losing — that's never in your hands. It's about being the best you can be.
This realisation came to me rather suddenly. One day, I was playing fierce but domestic level rugby tournaments versus other club teams. Next, I was on the field, playing India's first international, versus Singapore, at their National Stadium in October, 1998. Obviously it wasn't all so quick, but it felt that way when it happened.
The back-story is that India was not recognised as an official rugby playing nation by the International Rugby Board until 1998. So when I started playing at the national level in 1984 (I was 17), it was for the sheer fun, fierceness and intense physicality of it. I played rugby for no real glory — just the incredible feeling of playing the most fulfilling sport on earth, and trying to be the best that I could be at it. And then, in 1998, news broke that we were to be the 98th country in the world to officially play rugby internationals against other nations, and that our first
tournament was to be in Singapore that October.
Suddenly everything changed — a professional coach for the Indian team, physios, new training techniques, equipment... And our India kit! I will never forget that day. Trying on our light blue jerseys with the India crest, white shorts, light blue stockings — getting our India blazers tailored. Through all this, we were training five hours a day — speed and strength sessions, skills sessions, gym sessions, blackboard sessions.
And then it was time. We flew into Singapore smartly clad in blazers and slacks and as we entered the hotel, a curious thing occurred. We lost our names. That's what nobody tells you — in a team sport, where no one is a recognisable star, the first thing that happens is you lose your name. If you go in for a team dinner to the banquet hall, you are allotted two tables for your team: "So it's India? You guys are on tables eight and nine." If you report for practice on the ground, the training marshalls look at their clipboards and say, "India? You're on field number three over there, and you have till 6 pm." During a game, the referee will turn to you and say, "India 14, come here. When I say step away from the ruck, I want you to step away immediately."
And with that comes a strange feeling of responsibility. Because although you know back home nobody, barring 1,000 rugby-mad players and families, knows that India has a rugby team, here in Singapore, for most of the players on the 13 other teams, officials and spectators, you represent all they will ever encounter first-hand about a country called India.
So, if you choose to molest the housekeeper in the team hotel or are caught shoplifting in the nearby supermarket, that's going to directly reflect on people's perceptions of your nation. The fact is, and any international sportsperson will tell you this, what people at the end of a tournament remember about your country, is directly from the example the team sets — the class and courage on the field you display, the spirit of cooperation you show at tournament committee meetings, the confidence and grace with which you meet your opponents after the game. It is a microcosm of life. Everything else is noise.
The actor-filmmaker played rugby for India from 1998-2009
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