Not sure he’s the one for me...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and he recently proposed. I said I didn't have an answer, which upset him, but I haven't been able to respond because I am not sure. I love him and don't doubt his love for me, but I am unsure about how this relationship will evolve into something long-term because we don't share the same interests. I get bored if I spend too much time with him and I notice this whenever we are on holiday together. If I can't get through an extended vacation without wanting to be somewhere else, how am I supposed to be married and stay in the same home with him? I know he will end this relationship if I tell him this, which is why I have asked him for time, but I am confused about whether my reasons for not agreeing are enough. What should I do?
You're right to take your time because your reasons, whatever they are, shouldn't be treated as frivolous. Marriage is a serious commitment, and entering into a partnership like this requires careful consideration because it involves the lives of two people. Your boyfriend may be sure about where this is going but your inability to feel the same way is cause for concern. Not telling him how you feel may not be the best thing to do though, because you don't know how he feels about spending too much time with you. If you can't manage a holiday together, it doesn't necessarily imply that you can't live together because holidays aren't reflective of day-to-day living. They are a good way of figuring out what the other person is like. As for not sharing the same interests, this isn't an insurmountable problem because, for some couples, it is precisely a lack of shared interests that allows them to explore other aspects of life as individuals. Take your time but try telling him what's on your mind because it may help you find some measure of clarity.

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