I feel excluded by his family...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am in a relationship with someone who comes from a very tightknit family. They meet all the time and, whenever this happens, I always feel left out. It's not as if they are disrespectful towards me, but I always get the sense that they think of me as someone who will be in their brother's life only temporarily, and not permanently. My boyfriend knows this and says it's an issue, but he doesn't do anything to make me feel more included because I don't think he knows how. He was in relationships with other women before me, and I think his siblings are just used to the idea of him dating for a short while and then moving on. I don't think of our relationship in those terms because I am serious about him, which is probably why this hurts me more than it should. How can I change this situation?
You don't have to change anything because that dynamic will change on its own when his siblings start to change the way they look at you. This will presumably happen when they see you more often and begin to recognise or acknowledge how your partner sees you and treats you. Having said that, if he says he doesn't know how to make you feel more included, he just isn't trying hard enough. His siblings take their cue from him, and it is naïve of him to not accept that. Ask him how serious he is about this relationship and tell him why he needs to work on this because it hurts you, and because that ought to be reason enough.

My husband is forgetful, and this causes a lot of unnecessary tension in our marriage. How do I cope with this? I love him but it is starting to become an issue that worries me because I don't know if he will get worse as he grows older.
Use technology and memory aids or speak to a counsellor if you believe this is causing irreparable harm.

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