He hates that I’m seeing others...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I was in a relationship that lasted two years, after which my ex decided he didn't want to be with me. I was hurt, but accepted the decision because I didn't want to force him. I began dating other people after around six months, but he keeps messaging me asking why I am going out. I don't know if this means he wants me back, or if he cares, and the only reason I stay in touch is because I still love him. A part of me wants us to get back, and it feels as if he is jealous when I am on a date with someone else. I tried asking him out, but he said he needed time to think about the future. He still gets angry if I am with anyone though. What should I do?
It sounds as if he doesn't want to be with you but doesn't want you to have the right to your own life either. It may seem okay because you are in love with this person, but you have to step back and look at this objectively too. He chose to end this relationship, isn't committing to getting back, and assumes you will wait until he is ready. You can choose to do this because that is your prerogative, but you should also think about what you want and what kind of relationship makes sense for you. Remember that mutual respect is critical, as is communication, trust, and the ability to understand what personal boundaries mean.

Is it okay to avoid any serious relationship completely if one is convinced that there won't be a real connection? I feel as if the one chance I had has gone because I let go of someone a few years ago. I haven't found anyone who comes close ever since.
It's okay to do whatever feels right to you, but it's also okay to keep meeting people and have an open mind about the future. People are different, and you may also change.

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