Expert tips to help parents navigate children's heightened emotion

Riley and her parents celebrate her 13th birthday in a moment from the movie. Pics courtesy/Youtube

"Hello, I am Anxiety!" says a frail orange figure in its creaky voice, moments after mind workers wreak havoc on Riley's Headquarters to make space for new emotions. In Inside Out 2, the highest-grossing release of 2024 in North America until now, emotions come to life inside the 13-year-old Riley's head and spell out every decision she makes based on memories, beliefs and personality. As Riley hits puberty, the sequel introduces three new emotions apart from Joy, Anger, Disgust, Sadness and Fear. These are Ennui, Embarrassment and Anxiety. As if on cue, Riley wakes up in a grumpy mood, with frizzy hair, a messy room and her first pimple. This marks the beginning of the teen's exploration into a world, where with threatened friendships, new aspirations, challenged beliefs and changing physique, Anxiety starts taking charge - eventually suppressing all emotions, quite literally in the movie. It leads to a panic attack.

What is anxiety?

"Anxiety is when the nervous system enters sympathetic nervous response, which is an alert or an emergency response that probes your body to run away and keep itself safe from danger," explains Nikhila Deshpande, psychologist and founder of Andheri-based iTalkTherapy Counselling Centre. "In normal situations of fear, your body responds when it sees a lion. You enter a safe zone and start calming down when you have escaped it. However, in anxiety, the fear is perceived or imagined," she explains, "Your body can handle stress response for half an hour, two hours or maximum one day. In case of anxiety, you are trying to run away from the same perceived lion for six months. Imagine what it can do to your body."

Teenagers, like (left) Riley, experience multiple physical and emotional changes

Psychologist and founder of @evolvewithritika, Lower Parel-based Ritika Jain agrees. "Anxiety is often characterised by the ‘what if' scenarios. The movie illustrates Riley's fear primarily driven by her desire to make her parents happy and avoid being a bad person. Riley's emotional landscape shifts to include anxiety, where she starts having intellectual thoughts about what might happen to her if she doesn't do things. She is no longer just being in the moment; she is constantly thinking about potential future outcomes," Jain suggests.

Change your approach

Nikhila Deshpande

Despite this, Riley's parents have very little role to play in the movie. As the child grapples with various emotions, she shuts herself from her mother. The mother, although furious, lets Riley be. Would that be a correct response while dealing with an angry teenager who is also growing increasingly distant, we ask. "Sometimes, as parents, you have to let your children simply know that you're there for them. In Riley's case, we see that the parents have already built a support system [in her tweens]. A teenager experiences multiple changes, both mentally and physically. When they behave differently, remember to not force your opinions on them. As a child, all decisions are made for them. But when they enter their teenage years, they believe they know everything. When you tell them they are wrong, they are bound to rebel. Change your approach. Don't tell them that they were wrong, but instead that their behaviour was. It is often how you approach your children that makes a difference," Jain explains.

Anxiety is often a new emotion when one hits puberty

To this end, Deshpande suggests two approaches parents must take. One, she says, is telling the children about the truth of lying when they are five or six years old. "Those are the years that children start gaining consciousness about the world around them. Start integrating moral values in them. Make them aware of how society functions, and show them how to navigate crises in times when their morality and beliefs are challenged," she elaborates.

However, for children in their teens, she suggests that parents should just be willing to lend a non-judgemental ear. "Children get confused when they reach their teenage years, especially when values are broken by the same people who taught them those values. For instance, they tell a child not to lie, but often, also ask them to answer a call and tell the caller that mom or dad is not at home," she explains, adding that peer pressure takes this confusion to another level, and more often than not, teenagers end up giving in.

Parents must create non-judgemental spaces for teenagers to open up instead of forcing their own opinions on them. REPRESENTATION PIC

"Riley goes through a similar situation, when during a hockey match, she can either side with her friends who are switching schools after the camp, or with the senior girls who will help open a door for Riley's aspirations in the sport," Jain points out. Both agree that the first step would be to just listen. "A new opinion would often lead to anxiety and possibly a panic attack. Once you have established a safe space for the both of you, where the teenagers are comfortable sharing their opinions with you, that would be your cue to suggest how they could have done things differently," Deshpande says. Jain believes that all emotions, including anxiety, are important. "It is okay to feel them all. They will shape your personality," she signs off. And finally, trust Joy to find a way to come to your rescue, we say.

TEEN SPEAK: What they thought of the film

(From left) Sadness, Disgust, Envy, Anxiety and Joy in the movie

I loved how the characters of the movie were meticulously created with the colour scheme matching the personalities of different emotions. Introducing Anxiety as a character for teenagers was a bold but a much-required step in a world where the emotion is still frowned upon. I have never had a panic attack like Riley till now, because I believe my parents have created a very safe space for me where I can share everything with them. But I do feel anxious from time to time when it comes to looking a certain way, and especially when you are put in a spot by your friends. The movie made me feel seen.
Bhoomika Mittal, 17

The movie was awesome! Now that Riley is a teenager, her emotions have become complex. We have all been there, and I completely relate with it. It brought to the fore how sometimes anxiety leads you to making wrong decisions. The last sequence made me emotional. It reminded me how stuck one feels in such situations [sports competition]. Overall, it is a must-watch.

Shreyas Gupta, 17

Case study: Why it's important to share

A 13-year-old started noticing changes in his body, such as the growth of pubic hair, and became anxious about growing up. He expressed that he didn't want to grow up because he was unsure about what to expect. To help him, his mother shared her own experiences of growing up. She explained how, when she was his age, she felt uncomfortable as her body changed, particularly when people started noticing her developing hips. She, too, had wished she could stop growing up. However, she came to understand that these changes were a natural part of the growing-up process and that everyone goes through them. By sharing her story, she helped her son realise that it was okay to feel uncertain and that his experiences were normal. This reassured him and reduced his anxiety about growing up.

Courtesy, Ritika Jain