Orange Peel Theory: Can peeling an orange prove how much you love a person?

Being in a relationship may often seem like a bed of roses but it definitely comes with its fair share of thorns. It reminds us how it takes a lot of work, especially in the initial dating phase, if not after marriage to make it work as a couple. So, how do you measure whether your partner is committed to the relationship? Gen-Z believe asking them to peel an orange is the easiest way. But does it really work?

The 'Orange Peel Theory' is a modern dating viral trend has been getting really popular on the Internet in the last few weeks and has been appearing on social media feeds more often than not. With Valentine's Day almost here, mid-day.com set about to do a litmus test. It is a term that originated on TikTok in 2023 but has been picking up over time not only on the social media application but also the likes of X and Instagram as the days go by.

Interestingly, the trend has been visible not only among Gen-Z but also Millennials trying to test it. The act simply involves asking your partner to peel an orange for you, and that shows an individual's commitment to the relationship. The theory has not only been indicated towards men and their effort in a relationship but also towards non-romantic relationship across the internet.

Going beyond small tasks
Lynn Misquith, a former Mumbaikar who now is based out of Bengaluru for work, believes the theory is amusing in its imagery but may often be superficial. She explains, "It underscores an important aspect of relationships and that is how they are multifaceted and require genuine effort from both parties. While offering assistance with tasks can initially appear endearing, it is essential to recognise that true understanding and connection go far beyond these superficial gestures."

Having had her fair share of relationships, the 26-year-old believes they are like a dance where both partners must actively participate and engage with each other on a deeper level. "Merely helping with tasks doesn't necessarily foster this deeper connection. It is merely a surface-level interaction. Building a meaningful relationship demands time, dedication and patience to truly comprehend and appreciate each other's complexities and nuances," she adds. While the essence of the theory may definitely bring a smile to one's face, she believes it is the commitment to investing in each other's emotional well-being and growth that forms the foundation of a lasting bond.

Malad-based Simran Rose, who recently got married to her partner of six years, also agrees with Misquith. She shares, "GenZ are known to attach titles and tags to everything to make it sound cool, however, relationships don't work merely basis an act of peeling an orange." It is also why she believes if only doing something as simple as your partner peeling an orange can help understand their commitment to the relationship, then the world would be a different place.

"If peeling oranges proved your commitment, then we would see so many happy relationships and marriages," her husband Rudolph D'Souza chimes in. The 31-year-old says that the trend sounds fun only in theory. "Don't stick to judging your partner's commitment just because they peeled you an orange," he advises for all those who have jumped on the bandwagon or are even taking it seriously. For him, commitment goes beyond the fruit and extends to doing the dishes, helping your partner with chores, doing things that your partner likes and doing it with wholehearted intent.

Without hesitation, Rose echoes his sentiment almost immediately. "Your partner welcoming you with a hug to welcome you home after a long day at the office. Sharing the workload if one is cooking, the other cleans, if one is doing the dusting, the other helps with laundry -- all the while just being together in the moment speaks more than peeling an orange." In fact, for the Mumbaikar it even goes beyond the small tasks and extends to respecting your partner, their parents, their friendships, allowing each other to be themselves, while consciously working each day to be better together, are the greenest flags she thinks that there could possibly be.

While Misquith is exploring the dating pool, and Rose and Rudoph are only married few months ago, Althea D'souza, another Mumbaikar, who has been married for the last six years and has been with her partner close to five years before that, has wise words of wisdom that are quite like those of Rose. The 33-year-old shares, "The little and simple actions like doing the dishes after dinner, folding clothes, making the bed or even breakfast in bed and other sweet gestures are all the little things that speak volumes about the person's commitment to the relationship."

While she thinks the Orange Peel Theory is a sweet gesture, like Misquith, Rose and D'souza, even she believes there is more to it. "A relationship is way beyond just peeling an orange and making a decision that this person is genuine and has sort of 'passed the test'. Metaphorically speaking, the theory does seek to explore tender acts of service that two people in love do for each other. However, peeling the orange cannot be the only criteria for assessing your relationship, it definitely has to have more nuances that just that," she adds.

It is also why the sales profession believes it is a foolish way to assess one's relationship based on the trend, if taken seriously. "How do you know if that person is peeling the orange for you out of love or forcefully?", she asks, before continuing, "And then, you are going to evaluate him/her based on their action, which is debatable."

Red and green signals through oranges
Picking off from where she left off, Swapnil Pange, a city-based psychologist and counsellor, practicing in Thane and Dadar over a decade believes doing small things for partners, without being asked for, definitely indicates your love language but that's not everything. Dissecting the trend, he says, "We need to understand that two people when in a relationship are actually two different brains trying to co-exist together. They may definitely have different love languages. In this case, a person's act of loving their partner may be exactly different from what the other partner expects or understands. So, would you not consider it as their kind of ‘peeling the orange for you'?"

Another important dimension here, Pange says is that when someone does small gestures for you, there is no doubt that it indicates they are considerate or caring towards you. "However, that is merely not enough because the intention behind these acts is crucial to know." The city-based counsellor wants you to address a much more important question -- Is your partner peeling oranges for you or you wanting them to peel the oranges for you only for the sake of social media trend? "Many a times act can be performed out of social pressure or to portray oneself as being a 'perfect partner'. So, intention behind the act is important and not the trend," he adds.

Dong your bit in relationships
With the theory being made popular by Gen-Z who are dating, he believes there is a larger effect. "Social media is definitely influencing relationships and dating of this generation as they get validity and peer acceptance whenever they follow the trend. But that may not exactly how real-life relationships would work. I think one should not judge their partner merely on the basis of their ability to do the act of doing the ‘bare minimum' but the context in which the actions are done," he adds.

With dating trends changing every other day and social media influencing them in more ways than one, the Mumbai expert has seen a huge difference in how Gen-Z and Millennials approach relationships today. "Millennials and Gen -Z have stark differences in approaching relationships and dating today. Millennials were not exposed to technology and social media and therefore their relationships were more shaped by real life scenarios and not social media trends. Today's generation have a lot of exposure and options available when it comes to dating and relationships. It has both pros and cons, and one should be very mindful when using social media trend as a template to choose a dating partner," he concludes.

Pange shares useful tips to show affection to your partners rather than just focusing ‘peeling an orange':
1. Respecting your partner's needs and boundaries.
2. Understanding your partner's love language as well as expressing your love language to them.
3. Balancing between ‘me time' and ‘we time'.
4. Not keeping social media trends as parameter to select the partner or using them to evaluate your relationship efficacy.
5. Keeping your relationship private and not necessarily social every time.