14 February,2025 06:01 PM IST | Mumbai | Raaina Jain
Image for representational purposes only (Photo Courtesy: Pixabay)
Would we be able to stay away from each other?
What if we grow apart?
Is this person worth waiting for?
When will we meet again?
What does the future hold?
These are just some questions that couples might find themselves deliberating upon when the mention of a âlong-distance relationship' comes up. And rightly so, because being miles apart from the person you love isn't exactly an easy task.
However, when you find someone worth holding on to, would you want the relationship to fall apart only because you both don't live in the same place?
Riya and Aman (names changed), who have been in a long-distance relationship for three years, didn't let the distance between Mumbai and Bangalore affect their bond.
"Honestly, we didn't think about it that much. We just went with the flow, and navigated situations and challenges as they appeared," says Riya.
Aman adds, "I feel the distance has brought us closer. When you can't go out or celebrate together, the primary way of bonding is by talking. And these conversations have led to us getting to know each other better."
While the couple embraced long-distance relationship, the arrangement doesn't come without challenges.
"There are times when we feel like celebrating together or having the other by our side in situations of sadness or happiness, but it isn't always possible," Aman expresses.
While relationships in general can pose several challenges, distance adds another layer to it. Perhaps that's why couples are often hesitant to opt for long-distance relationships.
Jasdeep Mago Jethani, a Mumbai-based neuropsychologist and psychotherapist, explains, "People usually hesitate to get into a long-distance relationship due to two primary issues. The first one is the question of trust. Can I trust this person to be loyal to me when I am not around? The second issue is that of âWhat if'. What if they make a better life where they are without me, and then don't need me?"
Several other challenges further complicate this arrangement.
According to Jethani, the most common challenges that can arise in a long-distance relationship are:
Communication gap: Depending on the geography, type of job, lifestyle, etc., communication gaps can often occur in a long-distance relationship. "This can be overcome by setting certain guidelines and ideating ways to connect with each other without being intrusive," she remarks.
Trust issues: Several questions relating to one's partner can arise in an individual's mind: Whom are they talking to? Whom are they spending time with? Which friends are they hanging out with? Are they telling me the truth? Can I trust the people around my partner? "These trust issues and questions can arise due to two reasons: internal insecurities and actual proof. In order to navigate this, you should figure out which one of the above is causing it and then have a conversation with your partner accordingly," Jethani states.
Growing apart: This is a major challenge in long-distance relationships. A common question is: What if we grow into two different individuals and don't have the same interests we have today? "This is a conversation that couples should have throughout the relationship to know where each one stands," she says.
While these are challenges that arise after the long-distance relationship begins, there are some factors that one should consider and conversations one should have before opting for this arrangement. Paying heed to these points can ease the burden later.
Bangalore-based relationship coach Radhika Mohta shares, "What tops this list irrespective of geography, distance, time zones, etc. is the question: Do you have the financial resources and the emotional bandwidth to be able to handle a long-distance relationship?"
"No matter what technology has come in and how close we feel because of virtual communication, sometimes you just want to hold hands with your partner, or share a meal with them, or want to be a part of each other's highs and lows. That is when last-minute buses, trains, cabs, flights cost money. So, that is something to consider in advance," she explains.
"And in terms of emotional bandwidth, if one partner needs constant reassurance of togetherness, then a long-distance relationship can get difficult," she adds.
Jasdeep Mago Jethani (L); Radhika Mohta (R)
While difficulties arise, couples can bridge the physical distance using innovative ways.
Riya reveals, "We had to figure out ways to bond and spend time together. From virtual movie-watching experiences to online games, we tried different things."
"We used to have a movie night every Friday. That time was reserved for each other," Aman adds.
Additionally, the couple also found ways to meet each other whenever possible, planning their trips in a way that they could celebrate important occasions together.
Jethani shares the following ways to strengthen one's bond in a long-distance relationship:
Mohta shares the following tips:
"It's important to have a vision board together. In the short term, what are you looking forward to collectively? In the long term, when are you planning to be together in the same location? The âwhy' of the relationship needs to be strong," Mohta concludes.
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