In fact, if you manage to strengthen your relationship in areas that matter, your fear of losing each other won’t exist
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I recently got back with an ex after a period of two years. We ended our relationship the last time for something very silly, and always felt as if we should have given things a second chance. We dated other people for a while but kept in touch and slowly began to realise that we missed each other a lot and had a level of comfort with each other that we couldn’t find with anyone else. We have now been together for two months after that separation and things are going great. We feel as if our relationship has matured and there is a level of understanding between us that wasn’t there before. My boyfriend was speaking to me a few days ago and casually asked if I saw this as a more permanent commitment. I don’t know if he is implying that we get engaged or something, but I have been increasingly thinking about it. If this is someone I have missed and want to be with, should I just commit and make it permanent? I don’t want to lose him.
It’s great that you have both matured and feel a stronger connection with each other, but it’s also important to test these new bonds and get a better sense of how you both see things. Go on a short holiday, speak about things you disagree with, talk about why things ended the last time, and find out more about your individual expectations. The possibility of losing one another shouldn’t push either of you into a lifelong commitment if there is no external pressure. In fact, if you manage to strengthen your relationship in areas that matter, your fear of losing each other won’t exist.
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How do I convince my boyfriend to spend more time with me when he is obsessed with work all the time?
Relationships that work are ones that manage to arrive at a compromise. He has his priorities, and you have yours, so why not work towards finding a balance?
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