If he isn’t interested, I would rather he just told me this upfront instead of making me work so much harder. Should I just assume this is over?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I don’t know if I am reading too much into my boyfriend’s behaviour, but I am starting to wonder if he has given up on our relationship. We have been together for almost two years, and we used to do a lot of things together but now, it feels as if he agrees to go out or do something only if I insist. He never makes plans, is always happy to agree if I cancel a date and doesn’t even initiate a conversation on WhatsApp unless I message first. I asked him if he was tired of me, or the relationship and he just laughed and said I was reading too much into things. I don’t know if his personal or professional life is getting in the way of this relationship, but I feel neglected and don’t know what to do. If he isn’t interested, I would rather he just told me this upfront instead of making me work so much harder. Should I just assume this is over?
If it gets to a point where you feel as if you’re doing all the heavy lifting, that isn’t a feasible option. He may have all kinds of reasons for behaving the way he does but, if you don’t feel important enough and there isn’t a level of mutual respect, your relationship is going nowhere. It’s also important for him to acknowledge what you’re feeling, because to not do so is also an act of disrespect in the form of gaslighting. Tell him why things need to change, ask if he is prepared to work towards that and, if he still insists that things are okay, take a call on whether this is really right for you.
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My partner is always threatening to leave me whenever we argue, which makes it impossible for me to have any conversation about issues that matter. How do I get her to see why this is wrong?
No relationship can survive without open lines of communication. If she doesn’t agree, this won’t work.
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