If you can’t afford it, a rational person should understand that. If she doesn’t, this isn’t a relationship between adults
Illustration/Uday Mohite
A year or so ago, I broke up with a guy who kept talking about how much he loved me but could never commit to taking our relationship further. We were together for four years, and he didn’t want to get engaged or even talk about the possibility of marriage, which is why I eventually gave up and decided to move on with my life. I met someone a few months ago, and we hit it off. Things have been going very well and he seems like the kind of person who wants a serious relationship that will culminate in a lifelong commitment. Our goals are aligned, and I have strong feelings for him. The problem is, my ex messaged me two weeks ago, saying he was finally ready to get engaged if I still wanted him. I am very conflicted because I don’t know how to make this decision. What should I do?
You ended your relationship because you thought you had valid reasons. Your ex-boyfriend may have changed his mind, but you have to decide what you want to do next based upon whom you believe you want to spend your life with. Do you know your current boyfriend as well as you do? Does he seem more dependable? You may not have answers to these questions, so the smartest thing may be to ask for time. You gave your ex four years to decide. It seems only fair that he allows you to think about what is best for you before you make up your mind. Familiarity is often a strong reason for choosing to be with someone, but you should ask yourself if it is the only thing that matters.
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My girlfriend wants to go on a holiday that I can’t afford and is using it as an excuse to say I don’t love her enough. How do I get her to be reasonable?
If you can’t afford it, a rational person should understand that. If she doesn’t, this isn’t a relationship between adults.
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