Until that happens, spend time with people who care about you, and accept that it’s impossible to predict what life has in store
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 29-year old woman and was in a relationship with a guy for four years. We were planning to marry but it didn’t work out and we ended it a year ago. He recently became engaged to someone and that has devastated me because I always thought of him as the love of my life. I didn’t ever foresee a future without him in it, and this has made it hard for me to cope with a lot of things. Maybe he didn’t think of me the same way, which is why he was able to move on and then find someone he wanted to marry. I wonder if I will ever be able to date anyone, let alone think of them as a potential life-partner. I don’t want to feel so helpless, but I can’t find a way out of this. What should I do?
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You have to accept that this grief is inevitable and part of a process you will have to go through because you have lost someone important. It’s impossible to understand how or why your ex-partner has moved on, but everyone handles the end of a relationship differently. It’s okay to feel this way, and it’s also understandable that you can’t fathom the idea of being with someone else. It will pass when you’re ready to move on, and there is no manual on when that happens. All you have to do is trust in the fact that this feeling will change and will be replaced by something else. Until that happens, spend time with people who care about you, and accept that it’s impossible to predict what life has in store.
My husband wants to move to another country, and I don’t, which is causing some serious problems in our marriage. How do we resolve this?
You can’t unless there is a compromise that works for you both. Talk about your individual reasons, as well as your priorities. This may call for a bit of empathy from both of you.
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