How can we resolve this in a way that allows our relationship to grow stronger without affecting other parts of his life?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I love my boyfriend a lot but often feel neglected by him, even though I know he has many other responsibilities that take up a lot of his time. He has problems at home and is the only earning member, so I don’t force him to spend more hours with me than possible. At the same time, when I look at my friends, they have partners who are more engaged and connected with them, which makes me feel sad. I want to tell this to my boyfriend, but there is so much guilt involved with that conversation that I can’t even begin to speak about it. How can we resolve this in a way that allows our relationship to grow stronger without affecting other parts of his life?
This isn’t about his family or his relationship with his family, as much as it is about your relationship with him. You have to separate the two, because you aren’t responsible for anything beyond this. If you feel this way, you are absolutely entitled to because he may have perfectly valid reasons, but he is also your boyfriend and has committed to it in some way. Put aside feelings of guilt and treat this as a problem that needs a solution. It doesn’t have to lead to an argument or anxiety if you can both understand how you feel, and he has an opportunity to respond. All he needs to do is work on his priorities. If he believes you are as important in his life as his family, he will do what needs to be done to resolve this situation.
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My boyfriend was drunk last week and ended up texting his ex-girlfriend. They chatted for an hour, and he now says she wants to meet him. Should I be worried?
If you aren’t comfortable with this, ask him for an explanation. If you are both secure with how you feel about each other, a meeting doesn’t have to be a problem. Either way, encourage him to talk about it.
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