I don’t want to delete our photos!

I don’t want to stay in touch with him, but I don’t know if pretending this didn’t happen is healthy either. What should I do?

My ex-boyfriend wants me to delete all our photographs from my phone because he says he doesn’t want any reminders of us in our lives. We had a brutal breakup and I understand where he is coming from, but I don’t think it’s his decision to make given that this is my phone, and I am also in these photographs. I have told him that I agree, but I still intend to keep some of the photographs. I wonder if this is a good idea though, because maybe he is doing the right thing by erasing all memories of us together. I don’t want to stay in touch with him, but I don’t know if pretending this didn’t happen is healthy either. What should I do?
Your ex-boyfriend has the right to try and erase any memory he doesn’t want to hold on to, but that doesn’t change the fact that your relationship was real, or that your phone belongs to you. If you want to retain any photographs, that is your prerogative. Also, time may allow you to forget aspects of your relationship, but eradicating a memory of someone is a lot harder than it sounds on paper. If you’re worried about the effect of these photographs on your mental health, put them in a locked folder on your phone. Either way, you should focus on moving on and thinking about what that process involves. It’s what your ex-boyfriend is presumably trying to do in his own way.

How long should someone wait before asking a partner if they are serious about a relationship? I don’t know where things stand between my girlfriend and me, but I don’t want to frighten her by asking serious questions about the future.
Why should any question about the future be cause for worry? If you have something on your mind, and want clarity about where things are going, you have every right to ask. If she isn’t comfortable, she has every right to say she needs time. Why complicate this? 

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