Listening to him may help you avoid arguments for a while but doesn’t change the fact that there are double standards at work here. Agreeing or disagreeing is your call
Illustration/Uday Mohite
This is a trivial issue that has been causing a lot of tension between my girlfriend and me. We have been together for two years and she suddenly wants to cut her hair in a style that just doesn’t suit her. At first, I thought it was fine because it’s her hair, but then I realised it would have an effect on me because I wouldn’t feel comfortable going out with her if she looked strange. I don’t even think she was serious about it at first but, after I mentioned my reservations, she took it as an insult and a challenge and has decided to definitely go ahead with it. It has made us fight a lot because I think her immature behaviour is a sign that she can be as frivolous about more important things. This has made me reconsider my whole relationship with her. How do I deal with it?
You can deal with it by recognising that your initial reaction was the sane one. It’s her hair, her appearance, and her business. If you are ashamed of being seen with her, the problem is yours and not hers, and she is the one who should be reconsidering the relationship. Partners who support each other are the ones who build genuine and strong bonds. Think about that when you next speak to her, along with what attracted you to her in the first place. It can’t have been her hair alone.
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My boyfriend is mad because I have held on to gifts that were given to me by my ex. He has stuff from his exes, too, but I have never objected to it. He says I am just a more relaxed person, and he wants me to get rid of my stuff. Should I listen to him just to avoid problems in our future?
Listening to him may help you avoid arguments for a while but doesn’t change the fact that there are double standards at work here. Agreeing or disagreeing is your call.
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