I can’t live with his addiction!

My marriage is being threatened by my husbands addiction to marijuana. He struggled with it for years, since he was a teenager. It was a problem even when we were dating, but he gave it up and promised to stay away from it. He has had some bad luck with his job lately and relapsed into smoking it again. We fight a lot about this, and he always promises to stop but somehow manages to start the habit. I am tired because I dont think I can do this anymore. I know that leaving him will be devastating but I cant keep putting him and his needs over mine because this is taking a tremendous toll on my health, too. What should I do? I cant stay in this marriage out of guilt alone.Addiction is a disease that can ruin lives, and youre right to take this threat seriously. Staying in any relationship out of guilt is wrong because it is destined to fail. Your husband may want to break free of this habit but unless he obtains the tools, or takes concrete steps to fight this, it isnt going to go away on its own. Willpower often fails when it comes to addiction, and he needs to accept that. Telling him about the toll this is taking on your marriage may not help but asking him to seek professional intervention may be able to buy you both some time. If he refuses or doesnt go through a course of treatment for the prescribed time, the chances of this problem being resolved are slim. Choosing to stay until this happens is your prerogative, but you should make a decision based on the impact on your mental health. Consider speaking to a counsellor too, because you need all the support you can get to fight this. Also speak to family and friends so they are aware of the situation and can make it easier for you to cope with whatever you decide is the best course of action. The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com