When someone is causing you harm, it is important to protect yourself, and asking for help may be difficult but is also imperative
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 29-year old woman and have been dating a man two years older who doesn’t seem to feel the need for intimacy the same way I do. He is happy to just chat and is not very demonstrative when it comes to displays of affection, but I am very attuned to physical touch and the need for this. I know he loves me and cares about me, but I can’t bring myself to be more direct and ask him to hold me more or cuddle with me more often. It feels as if I am forcing him to be someone he is not and the guilt of this makes it hard for me to be open and honest about how I’m feeling. What can I do to fix this situation without damaging my relationship in any way? I don’t want him to feel as if I am being too pushy or controlling.
You’re not being pushy if you want to feel loved; you’re just being human and are expressing a very real and important need. If you can’t say this to your partner, it is a sign that your relationship needs work. It’s okay to be different people with different needs, but it’s not okay to avoid talking about them and settling for something just because you can’t express yourself. This can be done only until a point where you start to question everything about your relationship. Start by telling your boyfriend why you feel this way, ask him to try a little harder to meet this need, and work towards a compromise together because that is what
building an open relationship is all about.
ADVERTISEMENT
How do I leave an abusive relationship if my partner always convinces me to come back?
If you don’t have the strength to do this on your own, speak to family or friends you can trust. When someone is causing you harm, it is important to protect yourself, and asking for help may be difficult but is also imperative.
The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com