You accept that you are the problem while simultaneously looking for a solution. If you want her in your life, you simply have to learn to forgive
Illustration/Uday Mohite
How do I tell a girl that I love her without frightening her off? My friends think I should write a letter, but that feels creepy. I don’t know if I can say how I feel in person because I am shy, which is why I haven’t even reached out to her. We live in the same locality, and she recognises me because we have been living in neighbouring buildings for years. I can’t go up to her and say something, and don’t know what to do. I check out her profile on Facebook often and know she is single but I’m always afraid of even sending her a message online. Please help.
I’m not sure what you hope to accomplish by not reaching out, because there is no shortcut to getting to know a person. You recognise each other as neighbours, and nothing should stop you from starting with a simple hello. Asking her out for a cup of coffee may feel too forward, given that you have never spoken to her before, but acknowledging her presence is an important start. Alternatively, ask your friends if they know her, and can introduce you to each other. Also, keep in mind that your idea about who this person is, isn’t rooted in anything factual because all you have by way of information is her Facebook profile. Get to know her, start by being a friend, and then talk about what’s on your mind when you are both more comfortable with this conversation. It’s okay to be shy, but relationships don’t just happen without a bit of work.
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My girlfriend lied to me, and we have never been able to fix that issue. I want to but don’t know how I can accept her apology and forgive her. I think our relationship is doomed because of my stubbornness. What can I do?
You accept that you are the problem while simultaneously looking for a solution. If you want her in your life, you simply have to learn to forgive.
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