He wants us to marry in secret!

My boyfriend wants us to get married but doesn’t want anyone to know. He says his family can’t find out until he prepares them for this information. We have been in a relationship for two years and I have never been invited to his home. I don’t even know if his family knows about me. This has never bothered me because we are in love and I know he cares about me, but part of me wonders what his real reasons are. If they have a problem with me, for whatever reason, I worry that it may influence my boyfriend at some point and change how he behaves with me. I want to insist on meeting his family and letting them know that this is what we plan to do, but he is adamant and says we will have to break up if I don’t do this in secret. What should I do?
If you are not comfortable with secrecy, which is right given that his explanation isn’t sufficient, you should not go ahead. if his family cannot accept you, it’s only right that you know what their reasons are. If he can’t give you that reason, and is insisting on this as an ultimatum, that is a serious red flag because no one should be forced to do anything under pressure. A relationship is about equality and honesty, both of which appear to be missing here. If you don’t know anything about his family after two years, it means there isn’t healthy communication either. There are more cons than pros to this situation. You may love each other a lot, but your boyfriend’s actions belie his words. Think very carefully about what you are prepared to give up by entering into this sort of arrangement. Also, don’t be afraid to give it up if you feel it doesn’t have your best interests at heart. It’s your life and you should be free to make such a massive decision without feeling as if you are being compelled to.

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