Talk about how you both see this relationship and what you can do to practice acceptance. Small gestures are futile if he doesn’t want to understand this bigger lesson
Illustration/Uday Mohite
What should I tell my boyfriend when he asks me to be more loving? I am doing everything I can, but nothing seems to be good enough. Part of the reason is the difference in our personalities. He is very passionate and takes things too seriously, while I try and enjoy the moment. He doesn’t understand that I love him as much as he loves me, only in my own way. It’s as if he wants me to use the signs he uses to show how much I care, and I can’t do that. How do I get him to just accept me for who I am?
You should stop speaking about expressing your love and ask him to think about what this relationship means to him. Yes, displays of love are important, but so is the need for acceptance. If a partner doesn’t want to accept the other person for who they are, that is one of the strongest indicators that the bond isn’t as strong as they like to think it is. He needs to understand that trying to change your behaviour or personality isn’t going to lead to more love. In fact, it may lead to unhappiness and resentment. Talk about how you both see this relationship and what you can do to practice acceptance. Small gestures are futile if he doesn’t want to understand this bigger lesson.
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I want to break up with my partner but can’t find a way of doing this because I don’t have a good reason. I just don’t feel like I have the energy for a relationship at this point. What should I tell them?
You owe your partner the truth, even if you believe it isn’t a good reason. To not be honest is to do him or her a disservice and is also unfair given that you have both presumably put in some effort to try and make this work. Your partner may not accept your reason, which is their prerogative, but you have to be truthful.
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