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He thinks I flirt with our friends

Updated on: 19 July,2022 08:54 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

It may be your money, but this is simply a difference of opinion and doesn’t have to become an issue if you can both talk about your reasons for wanting or not wanting to purchase something

He thinks I flirt with our friends

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My husband and I have a problem with how some of our friends behave around me. He thinks they flirt with me a lot because I encourage it, but I don’t do anything of the sort. This has been an issue since the early days of our marriage, and we have been together for almost a decade now. I don’t know if this is a sign of insecurity on his part, but it creates a lot of unnecessary tension between us, and I am tired of trying to make peace. It becomes exhausting after every party. How do I get this to stop permanently?
If your husband is insecure about a few things, that is something he needs to work on, not something you need to feel guilty about. If he thinks you’re flirting with someone when you’re not, and refuses to accept your point of view, it’s disrespectful because it shows a lack of trust on his part. If he has a problem with how his friends behave, he should have that conversation with them, not you. I suggest you have a straight talk with him about the importance of trust, and long-term implications of him continuing to have doubts about you. This isn’t going to help either of you and, the sooner he understands that, the faster you can both move towards a more stable relationship. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a marriage counsellor, if necessary, because the perspective of a neutral outside observer can sometimes make all the difference.

I want to buy something expensive for my birthday and my girlfriend doesn’t want me to because she says it’s unnecessary. It’s my money though. How is this any of her business?
It may be your money, but this is simply a difference of opinion and doesn’t have to become an issue if you can both talk about your reasons for wanting or not wanting to purchase something.


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