I suggest you spend some time trying to analyse why you feel the way you do, and then have an honest talk with him about it
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 42-year old woman and have been married for a decade. My husband is two years older. He and I are very close, but I sometimes feel he has an unhealthy relationship with a friend who is the same age as he is. They chat a lot, often exchange messages on WhatsApp that I have no clue about, and even meet for dinner once or twice a month. I am never asked to come along because I once told him that I found her boring. I know he is not cheating on me, but I don’t know if it is okay for him to have this kind of friendship with another woman either. Am I overreacting?
Are you upset because he is friends with someone who happens to be a woman? Do you feel left out or deliberately excluded from their friendship? If you find her boring and he doesn’t, is this about jealousy or a sense of insecurity you don’t want to consider? The healthiest way to deal with these issues is to have a conversation with your husband about why this bothers you. If his explanation doesn’t help, ask if you can be included when they meet for dinner. Do realize, however, that being married doesn’t mean one stops interacting with people other than one’s partner. He is married to you alone, but this doesn’t mean he isn’t allowed to have friends, irrespective of their gender. I suggest you spend some time trying to analyse why you feel the way you do, and then have an honest talk with him about it.
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An ex-boyfriend reached out to me after six years and I don’t know how to react. We haven’t exchanged a word in all this time, and I am worried about what he wants. We had an intense relationship, which is why I am wary because I don’t want to go on a date with him.
If you don’t want to see him, you don’t have to. Why assume it is a date?
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