If he continues to refuse, you may have to give yourself a deadline and assume that this isn’t going anywhere.
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for three years, but he doesn’t want to take the next step and move in together. He doesn’t want to talk about an engagement, keeps saying we are too young to consider marriage, and just makes me feel as if I am the one putting pressure on him to do something. I don’t want to wait forever and be in this situation if he doesn’t have a plan for us. We love each other a lot, but I am also getting older and don’t want to invest in a relationship that isn’t going forward in a meaningful way. Should I give him an ultimatum?
If you know what you want, and your relationship isn’t meeting those expectations, this is a problem. An ultimatum should be your last resort, because relationships don’t do well when one is forced into accepting something. What he needs to offer you is clarity, at the very least, which can only come when he agrees to have a conversation about this situation. If he continues to refuse, you may have to give yourself a deadline and assume that this isn’t going anywhere.
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I recently kissed a boy on his cheek at a party, and my boyfriend accuses me of cheating on him. It was a harmless gesture because the boy did something sweet for me, but my boyfriend has refused to speak to me since that incident weeks ago. I can’t believe he wants to break up with me because of this. What should I do?
No relationship can survive without trust and mutual respect, and your boyfriend isn’t displaying either. If he wants to end this and isn’t willing to accept your side of the story, it is disrespectful and insulting. You may be better off without this person because this kind of insecurity is a red flag. It shows that your relationship isn’t as mature as you would like it to be.
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