Your role is to be supportive no matter what. The life lessons will hopefully come to your friend when they must. Until then, be honest about how you feel
Illustration/Uday Mohite
There is a seven-year difference between me and this guy I really like. I recently told him I had feelings for him, and he backed away saying it would never happen. I know he likes me and it’s possible that the age issue alone is preventing him from being honest about this. I want to try and get him to speak about it but can’t find an opportunity because he doesn’t encourage any conversation. We barely acknowledge each other when we meet, and live in the same locality, so we run into each other often. Should I approach him again and insist that we meet and talk this out? I don’t want to frighten him away by being too insistent, but I strongly feel that this is a problem I can fix if I just tell him to stop fixating on how old I am. What do I do?
You have said what you had to, and he has responded. To assume it is the difference in age that prevents him from reciprocating is presumptuous. If he wanted to change his mind, he would. The fact that he is not going out of his way to communicate is also a message. You can’t force people to come around to your point of view if they aren’t amenable to it. You have both been clear about your intentions, and to wilfully reject his response is insulting to him. I suggest you accept it and move on. Consent is all that matters in any potential relationship, and it should be respected. To reject it is a form of harassment.
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My friend constantly picks the most awful people to get into relationships with and this always causes issues between us because I feel like I have to pick up the pieces when it ends. What can I do to break this pattern?
Your role is to be supportive no matter what. The life lessons will hopefully come to your friend when they must. Until then, be honest about how you feel.
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