'It had become difficult for Shashi to handle'

A childhood friend decodes the woman that Sunanda Pushkar was in a new book, which looks not just to answer the baffling questions around her death post her Twitter meltdown, but how she managed to live a life full of surprises

In April 2010, when the IPL sweat equity controversy involving then Minister of State for External Affairs Dr Shashi Tharoor exploded, a national magazine ran a blazing piece on his soon-to-be wife, who was also party to the scandal. The attempt was to answer the question on everyone's mind: Who is Sunanda Pushkar?

What it did instead, was tear "into her character and moorings" with a "musically inspired headline", Got a Girl, Named Sue.

Recalling the article, Pushkar's childhood friend Sunanda Mehta, says she was disturbed when she read it. "That piece stayed with me," Mehta says, seated near a Victorian lamp at Colaba's Yacht Club. "It sounded like the author knew something about her that nobody else did."

Four years on, when Pushkar, 49, was found dead in suite 345 at 8.15 pm at The Leela Palace Hotel in New Delhi, Mehta had first tried to articulate the force that was Sunanda Pushkar, for an article in a newspaper, where she had worked for 20 years before quitting as resident editor of its Pune edition. But, "fifteen hundred words were not enough to do justice to her incredible life," she says in a note, in her new book, The Extraordinary Life and Death of Sunanda Pushkar (Pan Macmillan), releasing this week. "Sunanda's death defined her life. Because of the way she died—it was mysterious, and with so many versions—it became important to talk about her life. With so much written and distorted, I wanted to put the record straight."

The author and Sunanda Pushkar in Srinagar in 1984

As Mehta serves herself tea, she admits that she was nervous about how her writing would be perceived by the Pushkar-Dass family, who, she says, were most helpful. "In fact, we just despatched the first two copies to Sunanda's son Shiv [Menon] and younger brother Ashish [Dass], who live in Dubai," she says.

Pushkar and Mehta go back a long way. They first met in 1979 at Convent of Jesus and Mary in Ambala. Then, again in 1983, when their fathers, who were in the Army, were posted in Jhansi. By then, the families had grown close. Pushkar was at Government College for Women, Srinagar. "This is where she blossomed. She had begun to realise that she could make heads turn. Despite this dynamic side to her, she was a simple girl. When the army wives hosted a fashion show, she borrowed my clothes, and asked me to show her how to wear make-up."

The two last met accidentally in Mumbai in 1989. Pushkar was going through a divorce to Sanjay Raina. "The only thing we have in common is our name," Pushkar had told her then with a laugh, when she suggested they grab a coffee and Mehta declined since she had an article deadline. The author won't deny what Pushkar already knew. "Her life was a kaleidoscope. It was varied, complicated, and not easy to understand. And like one of her friends said, there were too many cobwebs in her head. In the end, she was just trying to sort it all out."

The book, which Mehta began writing in 2017, has been stitched together from accounts of nearly 150 people, who knew Pushkar either personally, professionally, or were plain admirers. The one significant voice missing from the book is Tharoor's, Pushkar's third husband, who was eventually charged with abetting the suicide. "I conveyed to Shashi that we would refrain from talking about her death [in the interview], and instead look at how and when they met. This was important to the
story. But, he didn't speak." To his credit, Mehta says that Tharoor didn't stop anyone else from speaking with her. "When Shiv and Ashish called to seek his consent, he gave them the go-ahead." There were, however, many others, close to Tharoor, who chose not to be part of the book.

Pushkar's brother Ashish Dass and her son Shiv soon after she moved to Toronto. Pic courtesy/The Extraordinary Life and Death of Sunanda Pushkar, Pan Macmillan

Shiv and Tharoor maintain a cordial relationship, says the writer. "I met Shiv in Dubai, and what I liked was that he is an evolved young man, not the least bit conscious. He talked about his mother's former relationships, as well as Shashi. His biggest regret is that when she passed away, the two people closest to her, were not around [Tharoor was in a party meeting and Shiv in Dubai]," Mehta says.

The final years, especially her marriage to Tharoor, form a significant chunk of the book, because for the first time, we learn of Pushkar's insecurities and how they took a toll on her marriage and health. "Shashi was intellectual, literary and articulate; she was incredibly glamorous. They both liked this side to the other. Where it all clashed was with her anger and possessiveness. She was demanding of his emotions and affection, which I don't believe is wrong. But, the insecurity of being married to a man with charisma, she could not handle. She felt her worst fears come true when she learnt about Pakistani journalist Mehr Tarar [a friend in Dubai had told her that Tharoor had checked into her hotel with his 'wife', when Pushkar wasn't there]." She even shared her concerns with her close friends and family.

Soon after, Pushkar informed them that she had been diagnosed with Lupus, an autoimmune disease, and had just two years to live. According to the book, a few days before her death, she also checked into the Kerala Institute of Medical Sciences (KIMS) in Thiruvananthapuram, for an examination. Dr G Vijayaraghavan, VC and director of medical services, KIMS, later confirmed that Pushkar wasn't being treated. "She was a hypochondriac, constantly popping pills," says Mehta, based on what Pushkar's family shared. And her meltdown became public after a Twitter war erupted in October 2014 between her and Tarar, after a series of tweets appeared on Tharoor's timeline that seemed to be direct messages from him to the journalist, confessing their love. Mehta writes: "It seemed that Sunanda had accessed Tharoor's phone and his attempts at damage control only stoked the fury of this woman scorned…"

Pushkar had tweeted: @MehrTarar the audacity of a woman desperately in love with an Indian 'please don't make me go I pleaded and begged I love u Shashi'.

Mehta says, "The issue was becoming difficult for Shashi to handle." Even the news of her death on January 17, 2014, came as a surprise to everyone, like everything else in her life.

However, it was piecing this part of the story that Mehta found most challenging.

Sunanda Mehta

"I couldn't acquire the 3,000-page chargesheet since Tharoor had moved court requesting that it not be shared; the court, unfortunately, upheld the request," she says. The police officials on the case were also unhelpful. "It was [former DIG] Meeran Chadha Borwankar, a friend, who managed to help get the timeline correct at least," says Mehta.

In the book, she discusses the three angles to Pushkar's death that officers investigated—natural, murder and suicide—while supplementing it with accounts by journalists, friends and staff. "I was under no delusion that I could crack the case. But, I wanted to get the facts right and put together the case, that was scattered all over the place, in a systematic manner and leave it to the readers to decide which theory sounded most plausible to them."

With Mehta, and family, believing that she wasn't someone to take her own life, the question then remains, what happened hours before Pushkar was found dead in the hotel room. "I hope the family gets closure, especially Shiv."

To Mehta, Pushkar, in all her different avatars—daughter, sister, single mother, businesswoman and wife to Tharoor—will always be "a woman looking for stability and love".

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