India wants to know

Did you not want to piss off the Antilla Family? Do you not want to get confrontational? Is there too much “dosh” at stake?

Dear Rohit

Best of luck for tonight as you take on the Gujarat Titans, as your team begins its campaign—hope all good as you prepare for one of the weirdest IPLs, what with MS Dhoni stepping down as captain of CSK, a day from the opening, you being “sacked” from the MI helmsmanship—why we conduct our affairs, shrouded in secrecy, seeped in speculation, I’ll never know. But, I have a singular interest, since I’m a Bombayite, and a Hit Man fan, I have to ask, “Why you putting up with all this shit, dude?”

Our culture has no place for grace, or just basic manners—so in the middle of your fabulous run of leadership at the World Cup, we heard about Hardik’s wanting to return to Mumbai—I don’t really care about his reasons, or why he’d choose to return to his former franchise and let the Titans down in the process, but what piqued my interest (okay pissed me off) was his clause that he only return as captain (which meant you’d have to step aside).

Of course, it gobsmacks me that the First Family of Altamount Road should agree to “let you go as leader”—you the winning captain of five titles for them, you the sitting skipper, you the loyal servant of the Mumbai Indians. I mean, how did they put it to you, “See Rohit, you are blah blah blah, we love you but see Hardik blah blah we love him more”. Because we still don’t have a cogent, coherent explanation from the MI spokespeople. Coach Mark Boucher tweeted some nonsense about you needing to concentrate on your batting, funny, the BCCI don’t feel that way. 

My query is, why did you agree?

Did you not want to piss off the Antilla Family? Do you not want to get confrontational? Is there too much “dosh” at stake? 

What stopped you from walking out at that moment. Any team would have snapped you up—(I do believe that MI needs you more than you need them, but that’s another conversation). 

Dhoni and Kohli would have raised the roof at this kind of shoddy behaviour.

See my affection for you and your brand of cricket, went up earlier this year-

Fact is when all the “Divas” went A.W.O.L… they were of course, the “IPL”… Indian Players on Leave-some preferred to change diapers, others were changing ankle dressings—everyone getting ready for the “real” tournament.

You stood on that burning deck, frankly alone, patriotism seemed to be sacrificed at the altar of paisa—but you stayed put, alone pretty much with a bunch of newbies.

To watch you nurture the youngsters vs England was a treat—“reprimanding” Sarfaraz affectionately, throwing your cap down in frustration when Gill was run out, encouraging Jaiswal, your hugging of Jurel, and your general handling of Bumrah, plus thanks to the modern system of stump mics picking up stuff, your Mumbai “bhai bhidu”, “bole toh” comments, were LOL-worthy. 

So I’m asking the MI establishment, you don’t think Rohit Sharma deserves some modicum of respect? You can’t even brief your clueless coach on a “party line”—as he and the toxic Pandya faced a rampaging media? What guys, you didn’t think that India wants to know, “What’s going on?”

Finally Rohit, I’ll say this, as you step out into the field today, to play under Pandya, as he struts around, telling people what to do, to watch you for six weeks, what’s in your head, bro… you always seem so relaxed, so laid back, so “bindaas”, so “happy go lucky”. I don’t know why you don’t speak up, I guess you have your reasons,  but either way I will watch you this season, just go out and bat, with that silken touch, and your choicest “gaalis” picked up on the stump mic. Let those flow with as much ease as your batting.

Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com

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