It's interesting how Indians who claim to love their motherland the most also have the lowest standards for real women
So much of our national discourse is shaped around our respect for women - our motherland, our Bharat Mata, our virtuous mothers on the big screen and Bharatiya naris on television
I recommend a simple exercise for anyone who loudly proclaims how much Indians respect women. A lot of people do this routinely, running their own private 'Incredible India' campaigns for visitors from foreign lands, in much the same way that we have conned millions of foreigners into assuming we are a peace-loving nation of vegetarians. To these dubious ambassadors, I suggest the following: Follow a female Indian journalist on Twitter. The newspaper, magazine or TV channel she works for is irrelevant, so focus on gender alone.
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Take a day or two to evaluate the kind of messages this journalist you follow receives, especially if she makes the mistake of airing an opinion. You will learn that, in India's version of 2019, women must be seen, not heard on social media. First, there will be men who respond to anything these women say with inane counter arguments, because mansplaining is a national pastime and facts are unimportant. Sooner or later, the arguments will give way to insults, abuse and insinuations. A significant number of these journalists will be referred to as prostitutes, while those too old to be considered worthy of that profession will be attacked for their looks, education, religious beliefs or private lives.
If the woman in question happens to be a successful journalist — or a highly visible one, because that is usually the parameter for success in Indian journalism — these attacks may take on genuinely threatening tones. Some women will have their personal details broadcast, others will be warned, and still others will be subjected to graphic images of genitalia. Here's a fun fact: The thing connecting almost all these obnoxious men will inadvertently be a distorted version of nationalism.
I found out the hard way what life for an Indian woman is like, thanks to my own personal history. My name, for a start, is more commonly associated with Caucasian women than brown men, which prompts a number of Indian patriots on social media platforms to routinely assume I can be shown my place. Some of these fine gentlemen ask me what I charge for sexual favours, while those who find out I am male switch to asking about other female members of my family instead. I was exposed to abuse long before the Internet though, simply by growing my hair as a teenager. My ponytail made me resemble a woman from behind, which gave a lot of men permission to grope me, whistle, or touch me while I walked down the street or tried entering a crowded train. They apologised when I turned, naturally, because only men deserve apologies. Indian women are simply expected to accept groping as a part of life.
So much of our national discourse is shaped around our respect for women — our motherland, our Bharat Mata, our virtuous mothers on the big screen and Bharatiya naris on television. It's almost as if women are to be respected and celebrated only when they aren't real. Why else would a survey by the Thomson Reuters Foundation in 2018 refer to India as the most dangerous country for sexual violence against women? According to the survey, our National Crime Records Bureau reported 338,954 crimes against women in 2016, which was the most recent data available at the time. Of those crimes, 38,947 were rapes. Considering this was based on reported data, it boggles one's mind to think about what numbers are routinely swept under our Swadeshi carpet.
There were 309,546 reported incidents of violence against women in 2013, which means the more we supposedly advance as a nation, the worse our attitude towards the fairer sex appears to get.
I struggle to understand where and how the notion of India as a country that respects women was born. We are the people who invented Sati, after all, and made child marriage, honour killings and female infanticide popular. We have almost no representation for women in politics, have all-male panels in charge of women's empowerment, and are as close to finalising the Women's Reservation Bill as we are to setting up a Shiv Sagar franchise on Mars.
There's no point talking about how we should take a good, hard look at ourselves and re-evaluate the way we look at women. We should accept the fact that misogyny is part of our Sanskriti and do more within our own personal spaces to bring about change. We owe this to the real women of India, rather than the fictional ones we stand up and sing Vande Mataram to.
When he isn't ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira Send your feedback to mailbag@mid-day.com
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