Tempting fate

Some warn you, others laugh at you, the rest just fear for you. But Ayesha Nair finds out that when you tempt fate, you "only" get spit upon

Some warn you, others laugh at you, the rest just fear for you. But Ayesha Nair finds out that when you tempt fate, you "only" get spit upon

"Why don't we ask her to do this story?" they say at the edit meeting, with a strange look in their eyes. Four sets of eyes turn to look eagerly at my reaction. What article was this? Did I not risk my life enough interviewing celebrities and reviewing stores? What else was I expected to do?

Turns out, all I had to do was tempt fate. Do all the wrong things that your grandmother warned you against and see if I attain the wrath of the devil or attract any bad luck at the end of two weeks.

So I set out to find things and people who would help me play with fate. A quick Internet search threw up a list of superstitions that would bring bad luck and an even quicker search threw up names of astrologers, palmists and tarot card readers. My question to them: I have a big assignment (this story), what should I avoid doing to ensure that it goes off as planned?

"Will panditji be reading my horoscope?" I ask over the phone, trying to keep an open mind. "Panditji passed away four years ago. His daughter has taken his place," informs the lady at the astrologer's house. Oops! Calling a dead astrologer's house. Could my bad luck have begun already?

At the astrologer's home I am ushered into a room with big maroon velvet sofas a white gaadi and lots of puja ka saaman. While her assistant draws up my computerised kundli, the astrologer breaks the news to me: "Beta, Friday (when we file our stories) is not a good day according to numerology. Can you shift the days?" What! And be answerable to my editor? That would earn me some bad luck, for sure. That's when her assistant pokes her head in and says that the computer is not working. The astrologer gives me a strange look. What kind of dosh does my kundli have that their computer stopped working. Bad luck #1, and I had not even done anything wrong. So the astrologer tells me that I should not wear black and blue on Wednesday and have to feed some green grass to a brown cow. I'm thankful it's not the other way round.

The next day I visit a tarot card reader in a funky Khar salon in a black tee shirt and a pair of blue jeans. Same question to her. After calling me her beloved and sweetie she has me spread my arms, which gets me a tad worried. Surprisingly, she is bang on about most things. She predicts that I would be working with someone on this 'project'.

I assume she is referring to the photographer who is going to be documenting me bringing all the bad luck on to myself. But she also suggests that I present the project with a covering letter. Now anyone who so much as reads a newspaper knows that deadlines rule the day and editors don't care about covering letters for articles.

So I obviously flout this one. She also cautions me to stay away from anything alcoholic. She doesn't have to tell me twice. I gather a bunch of friends and spend the next three hours at a pub close to work.

The next day, apart from a slight hangover and a Rs 700 damage to the wallet, I don't seem to have encountered any bad luck. That's when I actually see it fly towards me u2014 a big wad of spit. It lands with an ugly splat on my arm. Bad luck #2 just hit me. Furiously wiping my arm and trying hard not to swear at the creep, whose way I seemed to have been walking in when he decided to spit, I walk towards the palmist opposite St Xaviers College with the photographer close enough to get a good shot but far enough to go undetected.

The palm reader tells me that black, again, is not a good colour for me, that there are enemies at my workplace who do not want me to succeed. Could this be the people who gave me this story, I wonder. He really could not 'see' anything that I should avoid. Except, maybe, stay away from people who gave negative vibes. I go to work the next day even though it's my day off.

I also try out all the superstitions one is usually warned against. Right from walking under a ladder, to talking about future plans at dinner to placing new shoes on the table. Though, what bad luck a pair of gorgeous golden sandals could bring, is beyond me.

I read somewhere that red and white flowers bunched together bring bad luck, as they symbolise blood and bandages. So like the curious cat I go ahead and buy myself a bouquet. "Laal aur safedh phool nahi khareedne ka, aisa maante hain kya?" I ask the florist. His response, "Hmmmu2026 50 rupiya." Well, guess that one is correct.u00a0
Waiting for the photographer a few days later, I pull out my phone to check where he is and there! It slips from my hands, battery and all, gathering dust as it tumbles away. Now I carry it in a plastic bag that makes it look like evidence from a crime scene. Bad luck #3 strikes.

For the photoshoot, I pull out the cracked mirror and spot a huge pimple on my forehead. I don't mean to be vain but bad luck #4, just popped up.

After walking under the ladder, dropping a hand full of salt and putting on my shoes left foot first, I really think fate will strike back. Nope.

That same day, after the security check at work, while I fish into the black hole that is my bag for my press card, something hard and cold prevents me from walking forward. That's when I realise I'm walking into a wall, repeatedly, like in one of those badly made cartoons. I had just walked into bad luck #5. Then on the way up the stairs, I trip not once but twice causing a rip in my sandals. Put that down as bad luck #6. Nothing blood and bandages worthy, bad luck nonetheless.

Ok so the bad luck is kicking in, but it's getting really old. A movie might help get over the monotony. A friend suggests we watch 3:10 To Yuma over Confessions of a Shopaholic. What could go wrong in a movie that has Russell Crowe and Christian Bale? Wellu2026 everything! Two hours of nothing but guns, horrible dialogues and neither of them took their shirt off. Bad luck #7 just flashed before my eyes.

With that the two weeks are up and I have to file my story. (I must admit though, I did have some nice moments through these weeks.) The 'project' I have been working towards is submitted. Why don't you be the judge if bad luck really struck?

Final tally
Superstitions flouted: 13
Bad luck encountered: 7
Go figure.