After being in a relationship for 14 years, Rishu* and Suresh* decided to get married. Months after the former underwent sex change for the wedding, the latter dumped her for another woman
Transgender woman sex change
Rishu got dumped a year after the surgery
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Finding love had been a long struggle for Rishu (29), who was born a boy but had always felt like a woman. When she eventually found love and acceptance from her boyfriend 14 years ago, she decided she would do anything to keep him happy, even get a sex change so she could marry him. She could never have imagined that he would dump her just a year after the sex reassignment surgery.
Rishu was born as Raju, the son of a middle-class family residing in Kothrud in Pune. Even as a child, Rishu had known she was different. “I liked to play with girls and dress like them,” she recalled, adding, “My mother realised it too, but my parents refused to accept the bitter truth and shifted me to a boys school. There, I found other boys who were like me, and we befriended each other.”
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But it wasn’t long before Rishu became a target for abuse. “I was in Std VII the first time I was sexually abused. Then other boys began to blackmail me, saying they would reveal everything. I realised that they were driven by lust, but I wanted someone to understand me.”
Despite it all, Rishu was comfortable with her body and her sexual identity and didn’t want to change a thing. And, after Std X, she finally got a chance to be herself when she began dating Suresh. “He lived nearby and we met through a mutual friend. We started dating in 2002. He accepted me the way I was and kept me safe from abuse. In the last 14 years, we shared all aspects of our life — we went out, watched movies and had sex like all normal couples,” said Rishu, who went on to get a degree in Commerce and become a make-up and mehendi artist.
But as much as they loved each other, there was a dark cloud hanging over their relationship. “I could see that he was attracted to girls. I realised that changing my appearance could make a difference.”
All for him
She went on, “I had made up my mind to undergo the sex change surgery so that I could maintain my relationship with Suresh. In October 2015, I underwent the surgery at the cost of Rs 3 lakh. But after the surgery, Suresh refused to be with me. I realised he was in love with another girl.”
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But Rishu held on to hope. “A year later, he came back to me and we even planned to get married. We were trying to give his family the time and space to accept our relationship, but in November, he cut off from me completely.”
Parents objected
When this reporter contacted Suresh, he said, “Rishu will always be my love; I cannot deny our relationship. But I do not want to hurt my parents. They want me to marry a girl and not a trans person.”
Rishu approached the police and lawyers to ask them to counsel Suresh and bring him back to her, but they only laughed at her. In despair, she considered ending her life, but her mother persuaded her to turn her life around. “For her, I am still her son. She was one who gave me a ray of hope to live. I realised I wanted to help women and others from the trans community.”
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Rishu, who once dreamed of her wedding and mehendi-stained hands, has now turned her skills to help others with free courses on mehendi and make-up. “I have forgiven Suresh. He used to say that no one could love him the way I do. His words will always remain with me.”
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