Relationships: Does a happy sex life come with hard work?

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology revealed that problems in the bedroom might or might not spell doom in a long-term relationship, as it entirely depends on what a couple believes

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A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology revealed that problems in the bedroom might or might not spell doom in a long-term relationship, as it entirely depends on what a couple believes.

The researcher analysed sexual belief systems of 1,900 individuals and discovered that people fall into two sections when it comes to their sexual beliefs. There is one group that believes strongly in ‘sexual destiny’ and feels that sex should be all about sparks and twisted bedsheets devoid of nurture. There is another group that nurtures the relationship and believes more strongly in sexual growth. They also develop different ‘sexpectations’ at the same time. The later group treats sex as a tree that requires appropriate care and a patch of bad sex between a lovey-dovey couple can be fixed with little patience.

Sexual destiny is a word which implies that sex will happen with time. On the other hand, growth belief is something that considers the relationship as a plant that requires water, nurture and care. Those who believe in growth belief are seen to put in time and effort to make their sexual lives work. Sexual growth believers move with the flow of passion in their relationship and do not think that their relationship is doomed. They rather try to make things work out and do such acts that can boost their sexual relationship.

 
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The research also found out that if one partner is high on sex growth beliefs, both the partners benefit from this. Whether one can have a great relationship if things are falling apart in their bedroom, also vary from group to group. Those in the destiny belief gang, are in the worst condition in this case. However, when sexual destiny believers see that their sex life is not going well, they consider their relationship to be not ‘okay’.

The researcher concluded saying that there is a honeymoon phase of around 2-3 years where sexual satisfaction is high amongst both the groups. The benefit of believing in sexual growth becomes clear after this initial phase.

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