Won’t talk to me; won’t tell me that it’s over, either!

I'm 22. My boyfriend and I have been dating for eight months now. These days he's being aloof and I am not sure why. I'd text him, he wouldn't reply

Won't talk to me; won't tell me that it's over, either!

Dear Diana,
I'm 22. My boyfriend and I have been dating for eight months now. These days he's being aloof and I am not sure why. I'd text him, he wouldn't reply. I'd freak out, he'd say he was at work, the phone was off and that everything was fine. I'd end up feeling extremely stupid.

I'd apologise and that would be that. Not this one day. He said he'd had enough. He hasn't called since. I really care about him and it hurts real bad that he hasn't. I texted him last night and asked him point-blank if he wanted to stop seeing me. That I would, if he wanted me to. It's crazy that he won't talk to me, crazier that he won't tell me it's over either!

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
This kind of behaviour paints you as being inordinately clingy and needy. I think you need to define the period that your guy has been "aloof". Of course, he could've sent a message despite being at work; of course, you could've called his landline. The fact that he has to convince you that "everything is fine" (and by your own admission), you do this too often to let it pass.

Some guys are more patient with this sort of behaviour than others. Your guy has reached the end of his tether. But he clearly is still in love with you, or he would have told you otherwise. He's probably eking out a self-exercised separation. You've said your piece. Wait for an answer.

Please be honest...

Dear Diana,
I'd appreciate a little honesty here. Under what circumstances, would a woman cheat on her man?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
There's never a good enough reason. A woman, or a man for that matter, would cheat on their significant other if they were sure they wouldn't get caught. Or if sheu00a0 wasn't happy in the relationship and couldn't tell her guy. The reasons vary from woman to woman.

My husband is checking out gay porn!

Dear Diana,
I have been married three years. Recently, I have been noticing gay porn popping up on our computer. I confronted my husband about and we talked about it. He said he doesn't jerk off to it or anything and its just kind of a kinky curiousity thing, but he keeps looking at it. I don't know if I should talk to him again about it, or if I should be worried or anything.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Make your call on this. If you're comfortable with him doing that, don't worry about it. I personally find it strange that an apparently straight male would look at gay porn. I know you don't want to hear this but your husband might be bisexual, but he settled down with you because he has a slight preference for females over males.

Try to see a psychologist by yourself or a counsellor if it would put your mind at ease. If he stays communicative with you about it, you have nothing to fear. But if irregular things start popping up, just keep your eyes open. I'm not saying to distrust him or rifle through everything he has. I'm just saying, keep your eyes open. He has your trust unless he breaks it, not the other way around.

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