If you are daunted by the complexities of the dating world, trying to keep track of latest trends, worry not! While 2024 witnessed people reassessing their priorities and giving precedence to shared values, dating expectations are expected to undergo a transformation in 2025. According to Bumble’s Dating Trends 2025 report, nearly 3 in 4 (72 per cent) singles globally are looking to find a long-term partner in the next year. Romance is making a “not-so-grand” comeback in 2025! The desire for romance is clear, but instead of grand gestures, people are embracing romance in a new way - through micro-mance - a term to describe expressing your feelings through smaller gestures, with big impact. According to the report, the majority (92 per cent) of single Indians admit that how they show love and affection now includes behaviours like sending memes, a playlist, sharing inside jokes or morning coffee walks. Other dating trends of 2025 DWM (Date With Me) Nearly half (48 per cent) of Indian singles are celebrating more authentic dating and relationship content showing not only the highs but also the lows, serving as a ‘window’ to the broader dating experience. Seeing others openly discuss these experiences is inspiring healthier relationship goals, helping people spot potential red flags, and have big conversations earlier. On The Same (Fan) Page 49 per cent of single Indians state that unique and quirky interests are now key to attraction. Not only does this help identify partners, start conversations, and build compatibility but half (49 per cent) of Gen Z singles agree that geeking out on something together is a form of intimacy. Male-Casting 1 in 3 people globally agree that this year, more than ever, there have been more conversations on male stereotypes. Much like the experience of women, 1 in 4 men say these tropes make them uncomfortable because people make assumptions about their character and intentions. As we head into the next year, over half of Indian women (54 per cent) agree that the conversation on masculinity needs to evolve to allow men to define what positive masculinity looks like individually. Also Read: International Men's Day: Men, social media and the body image debate Future-Proofing An overwhelming majority of single Indians (94 per cent) say their worries about the future are impacting who and how they date. For 6 in 10 women in India, increasing concerns about the future are leading them to place more value on stability - looking for a partner who is emotionally consistent, reliable and has clear goals when it comes to their life. Guys That Get It Nearly a third (32 per cent) of single Indian women say they are more open with their male friends than they used to be about their dating lives, indicating a shift towards men engaging with their friends in a healthy way and becoming a more significant part of their support network. Amongst Indian women, 1 in 5 (22 per cent) now ask their male friends to filter potential dates.
22 November,2024 06:27 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent"Everything is political” is a popular saying, indicating how politics permeates every aspect of life from economics to social settings. But does it also influence personal relationships, including dating preferences? The people of Maharashtra are heading to polls today, with many being first-time voters. As the role of voting in determining the future of a region and society in general gains more prominence, many people now consider political awareness to be a non-negotiable characteristic in potential partners while dating. Amyra (name changed), 29, believes that her partner shouldn’t be ignorant about political and social issues that plague everyday life. “I would want my partner to have an opinion on political issues. Something might not affect us directly, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have a voice. I have been voting since I was eligible to do so, and I would expect my partner to do the same.” According to a survey by Bumble from November 2023, singles today seek partners with shared priorities who not only care about social causes but also actively engage in them. The report found that 69 per cent of the Indians surveyed are more attracted to someone who actively engages in societal issues and votes. Exercising one’s fundamental right to vote is a green flag for Indians. In fact, 20 per cent of respondents said that it was a major turn-off for them if the other person did not have an opinion on key social and political issues. This trend is especially prevalent in younger generations. According to the same survey, more Indian Gen Z (15 per cent) than millennials (12 per cent) said they will not date someone who doesn't vote. While there’s a growing percentage of people for whom politics is a determining factor while dating, for others, it isn’t a priority. “It’s okay if the person I am dating doesn’t have a strong political opinion,” says 22-year-old Aryaman Bharadwaj. Dating someone with different political views Is it just political awareness or does political orientation also matter for daters? Explaining why knowing your partner’s political views is important, relationship counsellor Ruchi Ruuh says, “Political orientation often reflects a person's core values, beliefs and priorities in life. As we now live in a politically polarised world, knowing your partner's views is crucial. It helps individuals understand their perspectives on important societal issues, decision-making approaches and long-term compatibility.” However, she adds, “It doesn't necessarily mean you have to agree on everything, but awareness can prevent potential misunderstandings and conflicts. Even if you are an apolitical person, your partner's values and choices do affect your life in the long term.” It is due to this reason that Amyra believes in discussing politics before getting into a relationship. “What the person believes in and cares about matters to me. While I would prefer to be with someone whose values and beliefs match mine, dating someone who has a different political opinion than me is something I wouldn’t mind exploring. However, the person shouldn’t force his views on me, and be willing to have healthy conversations on politics,” she shares. Aryaman is of a similar opinion. “I don’t have an issue with someone having a different political opinion than mine, but the person shouldn’t be an extremist. If we are discussing politics, it should be a healthy discussion where we both share our thoughts and insights, and it shouldn’t turn into a fight,” he says. While some people don’t mind accommodating differing political views, for others, similar beliefs may be non-negotiable. “Some people prioritise shared values and may struggle to connect deeply with someone whose views are opposite theirs. Some individuals find it difficult to introduce their 'different political views' dates to their friends, just to avoid differences and difficult dynamics. Few others might see differing views as an opportunity for growth, expansion of their knowledge, intellectual challenge or greater diversity in the relationship,” shares Ruuh. What challenges may one encounter while dating someone with different political views? Ruuh shares the following potential challenges: Individuals might feel uncomfortable with political disagreements and incompatible values, which may lead to frustration or a sense of disconnection. It can also create external pressures, such as differing views on family traditions or social issues. Individuals might find themselves struggling with communication challenges that might result in heated debates and unnecessary resentment. How then can one navigate such situations? Some people may want to make their relationships work despite these differences. Ruuh has the following tips for them: Identify and emphasise shared values, like mutual respect, kindness and a commitment to understanding each other's views. Setting early boundaries by agreeing on how and when to discuss political topics may avoid unnecessary conflicts. Empathising with the other’s point of view is important. Just because they have an opposing opinion doesn't mean they are completely wrong. Listen actively to your partner's perspective without immediately reacting or judging. Accept that some topics may remain unresolved and that's okay; one can agree to disagree. Focus on areas where your views align or collaborate on shared goals outside politics. Dating isn't just about political or social outlook; emotional intelligence and compatibility are a few things that can be focused on. Also Read: Maharashtra elections 2024: What does Mumbai’s Gen Z want from political leaders?
20 November,2024 05:51 PM IST | Mumbai | Raaina JainWhile traditional gender roles and preconceived notions of masculinity have often influenced dating and relationships, a new survey has found that modern men have moved away from the stereotypes and embraced vulnerability, pushed beyond superficial connections and become more transparent about their discrepancies and red flags. Dating app QuackQuack surveyed 12,000 male users from Tier 1, 2 and 3 cities, revealing a refreshing new shift in the way men approach dating today. Transparency about red flags Over one-third of the respondents between 25 and 35 reported discussing their already-identified "red flags" with potential matches during the initial chatting stage. It is high-risk, but they deem it best to be transparent about character traits that can be difficult for others to adjust to while they work on improving them. They disclosed bringing up difficult conversations like past relationship mistakes, mental health issues and work-life imbalance, leaving behind the "dark and mysterious" facade to open up and build a healthy connection. Openly vulnerable 26 per cent of men from urban, suburban and rural India shared that online dating apps have helped them get in touch with their vulnerable side; it's easier to be open about weaknesses from behind the screen than in face-to-face exchanges. Sameer (28) from Delhi said, "Digital interactions give a sort of 'buffer' while sharing complex things like career-related anxieties, commitment issues, and even family matters." Prioritising mental health 3 in 5 men between the ages of 20 and 30 seemed to recognise mental health as a priority and self-care a necessity. Ajay from Mangalore said, "It's a new model of masculinity. We do not hit the gym only to impress women; we do so to keep our minds and bodies healthy, and the sheer realisation of it is a significant development in the way men think. We also make sure to work through our issues before diving head-first into a relationship; we are open to seeking help." Acknowledging equality Nearly 37 per cent of male users above 30 revealed their desire for a relationship based on mutual independence and equality. Himangshu, a social worker from Assam, noted, "I don't mind splitting the cheque with my dates or being pampered with some gifts. It does not hurt my ego. These are no more gender-specific responsibilities. Why should one gender lead and the other follow? It isn’t fair to either.” Responding to the question about dealing with a partner who earns more and the impacts of it on the relationship, 3 in 6 men shared that they would be genuinely happy for their partner’s success and wholeheartedly support her in achieving more. Men, too, have boundaries Contrary to popular belief, 29 per cent of male daters revealed actively setting boundaries with new matches, whether it is not pulling an all-nighter on call or boundaries around personal time, preferences, and, for some, even exclusivity. The app’s founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, said, “Owing to the large number of users, we get the front seat view of modern daters redefining masculinity. They are more open, aware, communicative and one of the key points of this study shows men are prioritising their emotional needs over being peer pressured into acting detached and indifferent while dating.” Also Read: World Mental Health Day 2024: Coping with rejection in romantic relationships
19 November,2024 04:16 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondentCelebrity chef and restaurateur Ritu Dalmia recently took to Instagram to share glimpses from her wedding ceremony with partner Michaela Tedsen. The couple tied the knot on November 5 at Leeu Estates Hotel in Franschhoek, South Africa. “Mrs. and Mrs.,” she captioned the post, also writing “#happiestdayofmylife” to express her joy on the occasion. For her big day, Dalmia opted for colourful striped pants, paired with a beige waistcoat and a long black blazer. Tedsen, on the other hand, wore a flaired red dress. In the candid and heartwarming pictures shared by the chef, the couple can be seen posing happily in the midst of their loved ones. One picture also shows the wedding cake, which features a beautiful floral pattern. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Ritu Dalmia (@ritudal) The couple’s friends and loved ones were quick to share their wishes and blessings. “All heart, many congratulations chef,” wrote chef Anahita Dhondy. Chef Suvir Saran commented, “What wonderful news. Congratulations chef!” South Africa legalised same-sex marriage in November 2006. Last year, India declined to recognise same-sex marriage as a fundamental right. Dalmia is a prominent LGBTQ+ rights activist and was one of the petitioners who fought against Section 377 that criminalised same-sex relationships. The same was decriminalised in 2018 in a landmark decision. Dalmia has contributed immensely to the culinary world. She is a celebrity chef and co-owner of the popular Italian restaurant chain ‘Diva’. She owns restaurants in both India and Milan.
14 November,2024 12:06 PM IST | South Africa | mid-day online correspondentWith the music festival season being in full bloom, Indian dating app happn has found some interesting insights with their latest study showcasing how the current generations are discovering their partners. Picture this: over three-quarters (76 per cent) of Indian singles are vibing with the idea of discovering new music through dating. It's the ultimate way to jam out while looking for the perfect crush. Who knew a favourite artist could spark romance? Nearly half of singles (48 per cent) admit that spotting their top musician on a dating profile can make their heart skip a beat. For the younger crowd, especially Gen Z, music discovery is a whole vibe. A whopping (76 per cent) are tuning in to fresh beats thanks to their dating escapades. With a strong lineup of concerts in India starting with Punjabi music at Diljeet’s Dil-Luminati India Tour, to indie-music at NH7 Weekender, to Maroon 5 coming to India, and of course the most-anticipated Coldplay concert- it’s the perfect time for festival dating. Music isn’t just a playlist; it’s the secret sauce for breaking the ice! An impressive 74 per cent of Singles are using music to kick off conversations. And guess what? Young men are leading the charge, with 100 per cent of them making music their go-to topic to spark a chat. When it comes to first dates, music festivals are where the magic happens. An exciting 74 per cent of young daters are totally down for hitting up a concert for a first date. Think romancing on how ‘vibe teri meri milti’ at Diljeet’s concert or headbanging to Green Day together at Lollapalooza or doing an at-home Coldplay concert to cope with not getting tickets. And here’s a heads-up for the men — Gen Z women are all about it, with 100 per cent ready to vibe with their crush to some live music. So, this is the sign from the universe to jam on favourite artists on a first date. Karima Ben Abdelmalek, CEO and President of happn, adds "At happn, we believe in sharing real-life experiences, like discovering a favourite band or vibing to live music as this offers a fun way to build deeper bonds. Gen Z is reshaping the dating landscape, and our research shows that music is at the forefront of their social lives. We have observed that Indian singles are keen on doing activity based dates and are on the lookout for new icebreakers. With India's music festival season in full swing, Singles have a unique opportunity to break the ice and form connections in a vibrant, real-world setting.”happn believes that bonding over activities with a Crush makes the connection deeper and music festivals are a one-stop shop for multiple activities beyond just music. From games to interactive experiences, festivals create endless opportunities to spark meaningful real-life moments. And when the time's right, introducing a Crush to friends at a festival can be a fun and natural way to test the waters of a potential relationship. So do a vibe check at the Dil-Luminati tour or relive the childhood romance with Maroon 5.
07 November,2024 03:59 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondentIn a surprising turn of events, Britney Spears took to her Instagram to announce she has ‘married’ herself. This comes nearly an year after she parted ways with Sam Asghari. Posting a video of herself in a white wedding dress and an embellished veil, she wrote, “The day I married myself… Bringing it back because it might seem embarrassing or stupid, but I think it’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever done!!!” Other posts Before this announcement, she also posted a picture of an empty church with no caption. View this post on Instagram A post shared by XILA MARIA RIVER RED (@britneyspears) The video in question was followed by another video where she can be seen lounging by a pool in a yellow bikini. Interestingly, a scroll through her feed reveals another post dated October 12 where she can be seen wearing the same white gown. “A month after I got married on this day, I married myself!!! Things that make you go HMMMMMM…," she captioned the picture. View this post on Instagram A post shared by XILA MARIA RIVER RED (@britneyspears) Spears opted for wavy hair paired with her signature black eyeliner look. She wore classic black pumps with the wedding dress. The 42-year-old pop star married Asghari in June 2022 and they parted ways after 14 months of marriage. Their split was finalised in May 2024 according to media reports.
22 October,2024 10:18 AM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
In June, a 20-year-old woman was brutally murdered in Vasai East by a man in broad daylight. The man used a pipe wrench to hit her on the head and chest before throwing it on the road, after which he sat down near the body. The incident shocked everybody around them. According to reports, the brutal killing was due to problems in their six-year-long relationship, and the belief that she was cheating on him. Later, it also came to light that her parents hadn’t approved of the man and had told her to end their relationship. The subsequent actions highlight how he didn’t take the rejection well. Why it was hard for him to not accept the rejection is an aspect we may never know. However, it highlights the effect of people in romantic relationships not handling rejections properly and the effect it has on their mental health. Every year, World Mental Health Day is observed on October 10 to raise awareness, educate and advocate more about the social stigma. Over the years, there has been a growing focus on mental health in personal and professional life but the one aspect that is often lost is how people are affected when a relationship goes sour or face rejection. Like in the case of the Vasai couple, it leads them to take many different kinds of drastic actions that include murder too. The National Crime Records Bureau’s (NCRB) 2023 report highlighted that there were 4,45,256 cases of crimes against women reported in 2022 showing a rise of 4 per cent from 2021. With a growing number of crimes against women in romantic relationships, mid-day.com spoke to psychologist and psychotherapist and relationship expert Swapnil Pange to know why it is hard to handle rejections in romantic relationships. Along with Pange, Dr Sonal Anand, psychiatrist at Wockhardt Hospitals in Mira Road and Narendra Kinger, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist at Holy Family Hospital in Bandra also share how people can deal with rejections, and work on their mental health. The experts also highlight how people who have rejected the other person can recognise triggering signs of violence, and why there is a need to report it. How does one approach rejections in a relationship? Pange: Rejections in romantic relationships are hard. Rejection in a relationship can be a painful experience, but it's important to understand that it's a common occurrence. Rejections in a relationship simply mean that your partner has not rejected you, but they chose someone else over you. It has nothing to do with you being ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Don’t take it personally. We obviously feel sad, and disappointed as we invested in the relationship, and we expect returns. So, don’t label yourself as lucky or unlucky as your relationship is broken. Maybe be two of you just couldn’t get well along with each other. Anand: Rejection from someone who you love and want to get in a relationship can be a hard pill to swallow. One may feel embarrassed, frustrated, agitated, restless, and irritated. However, you being rejected should not burden the other person with unnecessary guilt. You should calmly respect their decision and stop bombarding them with multiple questions related to the rejection. Kinger: While rejections in a relationship are painful, it also gives one an opportunity for growth or improvement. We can overcome rejection by letting go of our emotions attached to the relationship, by practicing self-care, and reframing our thinking to "that rejections are opportunities to get better and focus on rebuilding self-esteem and reach out to loved ones, therapy, or support groups for such trying times. The development of emotional intelligence holds great importance in dealing with rejection. Manage your emotions, develop empathy, and maintain effective communication. Long-term growth will arise from establishing resilience, learning new strategies, and recovering one's self-esteem. One can also opt for professional assistance in handling emotions and enhancing emotional strength. Also Read: Gen Z redefines romance: What is simmer dating? Are there early signs that one can pay attention to help them prepare better for it? Pange: There are some red flags of rejection that you may pay attention to avoid stress further:1. Partner avoids you frequently and prefers spending time with someone else2. Frequently ignoring your needs and desires and instead giving importance to someone else’s3. After fights, you are the ones who always take the lead to initiate communication, and it seems that they can go for days without talking to you Anand: Various signs can help you understand that someone is not interested in you or doesn’t want to form a romantic relationship with you. If the other person starts to avoid you, may seem distant, or doesn’t like it when they are paired with you can be the warning signs of a potential rejection in the future. Why is it hard for so many people to handle rejections in romantic relationships? Pange: People who have an anxious attachment style find it difficult to handle rejection because they are dependent too much on their romantic partners. They cannot imagine their life without their partners. They have extreme fear of abandonment causing constant insecurity and anticipated anxiety in a relationship. When the relationship ends, such people with an anxious attachment may experience intense emotional experiences including feelings of worthlessness, anger and sadness. Anand: Rejection in a romantic relationship can be overwhelming as you start to invest a lot in this relationship emotionally. You may have certain dreams or expectations from this relationship and seeing them being shattered can feel like a personal loss. One may start to compare themselves with other happy couples in their surroundings which can worsen their pain of rejection. Kinger: Rejection triggers the basic fears of abandonment, shame, and inadequacy that are prevalent in all human beings to some extent. Our attachment styles and past experiences of relationships can exacerbate our vulnerability. Societal pressures and idealizing romantic notions, ideals, or fantasies often create impossible expectations from our relationship. Processes in the brain for rejection are akin to actual physical pain; inducing the release of stress hormones and putting the person in a fight-or-flight response. What are the reasons that people can face rejection in a relationship? Pange: There could be incompatibility issues such as a mismatch of beliefs and values, life goals, communication styles and mainly personality incompatibility. Some other factors could be past trauma of the person, trust issues and physical compatibility issues as well. Anand: Multiple factors can lead to rejection in a romantic relationship. The way you behave, and your attitude towards them can influence the status of your relationship. If you are unable to understand the feelings of your partner or easily get aggressive and rude when angry can be the potential reason for a rejection. How can couples approach challenges in their relationships? Pange: Encouraging open and honest communication, willing to compromise on personal desires for the sake of relationships, seeking therapy for resolving issues from professional therapists. Anand: If you are experiencing various hardships and challenges in your relationships, then acknowledging the real problem can be helpful. Couples should also express their genuine feelings, opinions, and disappointments about their relationships. This can help resolve the problem. How is handling rejection in a long-term relationship different from those who are pursuing somebody to get into a relationship with them?Pange: In a long-term relationship, the emotional investment is much deeper as compared to the other one. Hence, there is intense emotional experience causing significant distress after breaking up making it difficult for a person to move on. Also, in a long-term relationship, the presence of commitment, shared goals, memories and aspirations makes it difficult to move on after breaking up. Handling rejection in a long-term relationship is also much harder and is an intense emotional experience because it damages the self-esteem of the person involved. Anand: Experiencing rejection from a long-term relationship is completely different for those pursuing someone to be in a romantic relationship with them. It’s the amount of time spent that makes the huge difference. Getting rejected by someone with who you have spent major years of your life can be disheartening as you are mentally and physically connected with them. It may become difficult to get back to your normal routine as a single by being in a relationship for longer. Over the last year, we have seen many people take extreme actions like murder after being rejected. What leads to these extreme actions? Pange: The main reason is underlying mental health-related concerns such as depression, substance abuse, and personality disorders, which need clinical interventions and counselling. People who have low frustration tolerance, who can’t take no, are impulsive, and vulnerable are likely to engage in violent actions like murder, after being rejected. Some of these could be having borderline personality, narcissistic personality and or antisocial personality disorder. Sometimes, people follow what they follow on social media, news, movies and television and end up harming their loved ones. Anand: Everyone has their way of coping with rejection from their favourite person. Some may try to move on while some may try to hold personal grudges in their mind. Extreme actions like hurting them physically can be an indication of their aggressive behaviours and unstable mental health. Kinger: Extreme reaction to rejection often manifests in the form of physical violence or causing harm to a partner, often due to untreated issues involving mental health problems, extreme possessiveness, or past baggage and trauma. Entitlement, shame, or desperation can all make the behavior destructive. One must be able to spot warning signs - as much and as soon as possible. Extreme emotional dysregulation or aggressive behaviour needs to be picked up by one's partner. Safety should be the first concern, and family and friends should support those affected by rejection-related violence. Achieving this would entail handling the deeper issues and assistance from professionals to avoid a full-blown outbreak. For crisis support, there are community resources, hotlines, and emergency services you can get help from. Also Read: Expert tips to keep your mental and physical health on track post festive season For people who have rejected the other person, how can they be prepared for any extreme reactions? Pange: Here are some steps to keep in mind:1. Communicate rejection, assertively, and precisely. Don’t give mixed signals or ambiguous signals. 2. Anticipate a negative response from the rejected person3. Establish boundaries 4. Reduce contact or no contact at any cost5. Inform your family members6. If required seek legal help and psychological counselling. Anand: It takes courage to express your disapproval of a romantic relationship knowing that it may hurt someone else’s feelings. Ensure that you express your thoughts clearly and calmly without creating any type of misunderstanding. If you feel that the other person may feel attacked or react negatively then try distancing yourself from them to ensure your safety. Kinger: Working through rejection requires one to have a high level of empathy, compassion, and preparation in terms of knowing how to 'end the relationship in a manner that is sensitive to both the givers and the takers. Rejection often breeds an intense emotional reaction, including feelings of abandonment, shame, and inadequacy which can play into extreme reactions such as emotional dysregulation, aggressive behaviour, or thoughts of suicidal ideation. Such risks may be avoided by careful consideration of the timing and location for discussion: find some private quiet place with no distractions, where emotions can be tackled; clearly communicate your decision, without blame or accusation, demonstrate empathy, and compassion through feeling and acknowledging. Do men take rejection worse than women or does rejection have no gender? Pange: Traditional perspective on gender roles portrays men to be strong, dominant, and in control. Rejection in relationships can be a big blow to this perception of men causing intense reactions by them. Women are likely to perceive the rejection as a personal failure or worthlessness. While women are more likely to seek professional help or support post-break-up in a relationship, men may engage themselves in various activities as a means of distraction to cope with the loss. Abuse of substances or addictive behaviours can be common across all genders. Anand: It is a common myth that men are unable to take rejection compared to women. Gender plays no role in the way an individual reacts towards rejection. What makes the difference is their personality and behavioural pattern. If they are calm and sorted, then they might understand your condition but if the other person is short-tempered then it may lead to some extreme reactions. Kinger: Research has suggested that even though a male and a female do suffer rejection equally in emotional terms, the perception of pain and distress, and the way they express it may be influenced by social expectations or gender role orientation. A man may refuse to accept his feelings or hit out at others in a variety of aggressive ways. A woman is likely to brood over her feelings, as science has found out that brooding and obsessive thinking are injurious tendencies. Individual differences are therefore greater than any particular gender. Recognise that rejection pains everyone differently, regardless of gender. What are some of the tips and steps that people can take to handle rejection and prevent their mental health?Pange: Follow these tips to handle rejection better in your romantic relationships: 1. It’s okay if someone rejects you. They have all the right to do so. You have the choice to accept the rejection gracefully.2. Express your feelings or share with your close ones3. Take care of your mental health and seek support4. Give time yourself to grieve the loss of a relationship and don’t jump onto any other relationship too quickly. Anand: People often tend to neglect their feelings and try to act cool. This can take a negative toll on their mental health leading to depression, anxiety, and stress. Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions associated with rejection like sadness, frustration, or anger. But remember that your grief should not be a burden for the other person. Try to divert your mind by indulging in activities that help you stay calm and happy like doodling, cooking, traveling, or going for an evening walk. Disclaimer: This information does not replace professional medical advice. Consult a qualified mental health expert for personalised guidance.
16 October,2024 06:39 PM IST | Mumbai | Nascimento PintoThe festive season is here and people are preparing to celebrate wholeheartedly. From cleaning the house to shopping for outfits and household items, from hosting gatherings to cooking unique dishes, this time of the year not only brings festivities but also responsibilities. Traditionally, women were entrusted with most of the responsibilities for festive planning. However, a new survey by dating app Bumble reveals that 9 in 10 (91 per cent) Indians believe equal contributions from their partners in festive season planning is essential. This reflects a modern perspective on romance, which is grounded in collaboration, and shared roles and responsibilities. The survey was conducted in September 2024, and included a sample of 2004 people in India aged 18-43. A notable 45 per cent of women feel they shoulder most of the responsibility for organising couple activities during the festive season. However, this sentiment is evolving, with more individuals embracing the idea of shared responsibilities, where both partners have an equal seat at the table. 51 per cent of people are excited about the prospect of both partners equally contributing to festive season activities, viewing it as a great way to bond. As the focus transitions from traditional roles to a more balanced partnership, the festive mantra is clear: planning together not only enhances the celebrations, but also strengthens the relationship. Ruchi Ruuh, Bumble’s India Relationship Expert, shares some fun and easy dating tips for new couples to make the most of the festive season, together. 1. Festive market treasure hunts: Looking for a fun way to tackle your festive shopping? With the majority of Indians agreeing that it’s important to share responsibilities during the festive season, why not turn it into a playful scavenger hunt? Head to your local market with a list, give each other a budget and see who can find the quirkiest decorations or sweets. It’s a great way to explore the market together while ticking things off your to-do list. 2. Your own festive traditions: Why not make this festive season uniquely yours? This is the perfect time to put your heads together and blend family customs or even create your own traditions. Light diyas in unexpected spots or get creative with some fusion mithai. It’s all about celebrating together while building new memories you’ll cherish. 3. Festive date night at home: With 56 per cent of Indians preferring to stay close to home during the festive season according to the survey, a cozy night in might be just what you need. Dress up, deck out your space with festive touches and cook a special meal together. Top off the night with a classic Bollywood film on the projector, snuggled up with your favorite treats. It’s the perfect way to celebrate without the hustle and bustle. 4. Festive photoshoot: If you’re determined to be a homebody this season, why not capture the festive fun with a little photoshoot at home? Dress up in your festive best and snap some pics. It’s a great way to make memories together. Also Read: 38 pct Gen Z Mumbaikars choose festivals to introduce dates to their friends
15 October,2024 02:18 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondentAhead of World Tourism Day, Tinder has introduced the new Solo Traveler’s Guide to Tinder PassportTM, which is tailored to support Gen Z globetrotters in embracing the rising trend of solo traveling and building connections across the globe. Travel is the number 1 interest on Tinder amongst young adults globally between the ages of 18 and 25, and a recent Tinder survey reveals that 50 per cent of Gen Z in India agree having a shared interest in travel makes their match more attractive. On Tinder India profiles, this shows up as a 17 times increase in users mentioning ‘solo travel’ in their bios like 'Love to explore new places', 'solo traveling', 'cat mom', and 'Living the mountain life', 'A solo traveler by heart', 'wandering in search of home', and 'all the way from beach to mountains'. As more young people, especially Gen Z and millennials, choose to embark on their own independent adventures, the guide includes useful advice from Tinder and Hosteller, Indian self-operated backpacker hostel chain, to travel smart and safe, and make global connections before and after users land. With 78 per cent of young singles in Asia Pacific expressing interest in making friends before they travel to their holiday spots, it is clear that the desire to create new bonds is becoming a key part of their globetrotting experiences. In 2024, Bangkok, Tokyo, London, Seoul, and Delhi were the top 5 cities for young singles to PassportTM to on the app. “Traveling offers a wonderful opportunity to make new connections, and with Gen Z increasingly embracing solo travel, Tinder is here to help them kickstart their adventures. A Solo Traveler’s Guide to Tinder PassportTM offers essential tips for exploring new places, making connections, and navigating new environments with ease. There are endless possibilities with Tinder PassportTM — whether you’re looking to meet someone new, get authentic local tips, or simply immerse yourself in a different culture,” said Papri Dev, VP APAC Communications, Tinder. Tinder has now updated PassportTM Mode to appear directly on a user’s profile, letting others know that they are looking to make friends and connections before they even set foot in your destination. Papri Dev shares, “Using PassportTM Mode ahead of a trip is the best way to take full advantage of it — whether you’re seeking insider tips from locals or lining up exciting plans with fellow travelers, you can start building connections and setting the stage for an unforgettable adventure before you even board your flight.” Pranav Dangi, founder & CEO, The Hosteller, says, “Solo travel is surging, driven by Gen Z and millennials seeking self-discovery and freedom. At The Hosteller, we've seen a boom in adventurers craving authentic, safe, budget-friendly experiences. Our hostels foster meaningful connections with new cultures, empowering individuals to build lifelong memories. We believe solo travel isn't just a trend, it's a transformative journey of personal growth."
27 September,2024 11:40 AM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
Mumbai-based writer Saanjh* has tried using almost every dating app, hoping to find a good person. However, she has had to face several unpleasant experiences, that compromised her physical and emotional safety. “I have tried my luck using almost all dating platforms that are currently available including small-time apps, which at times has put me in a precarious situation,” she states. She shares an experience: "I was briefly working in Bengaluru when I had matched with a guy on Bumble and I invited them over. They tried to get physically intimate when I had not consented to it. I was already not in a good state mentally. I called a friend in tears and she consoled me for a bit until I slept. The next day, she showed up with another friend with food, and spent the whole day with me while we worked together to help me settle.” “I had another experience as a student where a person I'd matched on Tinder insisted that I meet him at the beach at night time. I did not go on the date and unmatched with him but he found my Facebook profile with just my first name and began messaging me there. I blocked him,” she further reveals. A similar situation was faced by Delhi-based management professional Tanya*, which prompted her to stop using dating apps altogether. She states, “I had matched with someone but didn’t wish to continue talking, so I unmatched. However, he began texting me on social media and I was terrified. I blocked him and also uninstalled the dating app, and haven’t used it since. The whole experience was very scary.” The same platforms that are considered liberating and credited for democratising relationships are now in the limelight for all the wrong reasons. Unsafe incidents such as these not only compromise physical safety but also affect users mentally. “Both these incidents left me shaken. It took time to recover,” shares Saanjh. However, the experience did not deter her from using dating apps. “The way I deal with people has changed due to these experiences. If I don't feel comfortable or catch the ick by something they said or their behaviour, I stop talking to them,” she states. Nirali Bhatia, cyber psychologist, psychotherapist and founder of Cyber B.A.A.P. (an anti-cyberbullying organisation), has seen instances of dating app users being harassed or scammed through these apps. “One major issue is that of fake profiles,” she reveals. “Guys believe it to be a girl's profile, but then they realise it was a boy chatting from a girl's profile. I've also come across girls who intentionally swiped another girl's profile because that’s what they wanted, and then realised it was a boy. In one case, the boy started extorting the girl,” she states. Sharing other instances, she says, “There have been cases where guys have been conned. On video calls, they are recorded and sextorted.” There have been various cases of scams through fake profiles and sextortion in current times. A recent Mid-day sting operation revealed a dating app scam, which involved women with fake profiles taking men to expensive clubs, and club managers and owners extorting exorbitant money from these victims. Also Read: Dating app scam busted in Mumbai: Floodgates open Apart from this, dating apps can pose other safety risks as well. “Initiating conversation with someone on dating apps has also led to stalking. Over the last few years, it has been observed that people immediately move out of the conversation from dating apps to different sites. After a couple of messages, they even exchange their numbers. Then, most of the conversation is either on WhatsApp or even Instagram. Somehow, many youngsters today believe that Instagram is safer than WhatsApp. Then there is a barrage of unpleasant, unwarranted, constant messages,” she adds. Revealing a specific instance, she states, “I've worked on a case where a guy met someone from a dating app when he was travelling to another city. They met a couple of times. Because he was not from that city, he only went there for work. But the girl got very obsessive and it led to psychotic behavior. She threatened to cut herself. So, the trauma was massive.” On whom does the onus of safety lie? While dating apps are often criticised for failing to put appropriate safety measures in place, does the onus lie entirely on them? Saanjh doesn’t think so. “We are responsible for our safety. But the dating apps should also take accountability. I am not sure if they can run a criminal background check but they should. An incident happened with a friend who learned that the man she had been seeing was a conman and a case was filed against him,” she states. “But then again, it's a catch-22 situation because even if they do verify things, some users may not explicitly display signs of being creepy or unsafe. I'd say, when it comes to offline behaviour, the responsibility of safety is on us and while things are on their platforms, the responsibility of safety is on them,” she adds. However, she clarifies that there’s no ideal solution to this issue. “There can only be perspectives,” she concludes. Bhatia also believes that safety is a collective responsibility. She states, “The dating apps should make sure that their platform does due diligence. They should ensure that they have genuine profiles. It’s important for them to not be driven only by business as a motive, but also by safety. Also, they should have easy remedial measures and create awareness amongst their users.” “Safety is also our responsibility. You can't go with your eyes shut. You have to be alert. You have to be smart enough. Going slow is your biggest advantage. Don't just jump to it. Make sure that you are always in control and aware of what's happening. The basic rule is to share your location with trusted people and tell them where you're going if you're meeting strangers. Always meet in public places. We can't completely put our hands up and rely on others,” she adds. Also Read: Do women feel safe at bars in Mumbai? What are dating apps doing to ensure safety? Many believe that dating platforms do not consider the safety of users as their objective. However, almost every dating app claims otherwise. Tinder, one of the leading online dating platforms in the country, elaborates. Dr. Chandni, life coach and relationship expert partner with Tinder in India, states, “Safety is super important in online dating, and Tinder is stepping up to ensure users feel secure. The platform is all about addressing what users need by rolling out a bunch of safety features, providing helpful in-app tips, using smart fraud detection tech, and even teaming up with law enforcement when needed. Features like Photo Verification, Block Contacts, 'Are You Sure?', and 'Does This Bother You?', are all designed with your safety in mind. Plus, the Dating Safety Guide, launched last year, gives you the scoop on available safety tools and how to date safely. Initiatives like ‘Let’s Talk Consent’ also help young adults understand the importance of navigating consent in relationships.” In a statement shared with mid-day.com, the company elucidates the process followed if suspicious behaviour is reported on the app. It reads, “When someone reports on Tinder, the actions taken depend on the nature of the report. Broadly, when a report is filed, it initiates an agent to look into the activity and evaluate whether the behavior reported to us violates our community guidelines. If the person reported has violated our guidelines, we either issue a warning to the user or remove them from Tinder, depending on the severity and specific context of the offense. It’s important to note that a report does not automatically trigger de-platforming from Tinder, and aside from spam, all removals are actioned by a human moderator. In the case of suspected spam, impersonation, and other violations, the user will likely have the option to prove their identity before being permanently removed.” Bumble, another leading dating app in the country, also reiterated its commitment to safety. In a statement shared with mid-day.com, Global Spokesperson, Bumble, states, "As a platform that’s committed to helping people create safe and healthy relationships, Bumble takes the issue of safety seriously and we use a combination of technology and human moderators to diligently detect and investigate reports of any behaviour that goes against our community guidelines including fake, scam and spam profiles." "Our Photo Verification feature allows members to verify their photos. If a reported profile fails verification, it’s turned off and made invisible. You can also ask your matches to verify their photos and filter your matches to only show verified profiles, marked by a white shield icon," they add. Elaborating on the use of Artificial Intelligence to ensure safety, the statement reads, "Earlier this year, we introduced Deception Detector, which uses Artificial Intelligence to help identify spam, scam and fake profiles, aiming to take action before such profiles have the opportunity to interact with members. This technology is used in conjunction with our moderation operations team. This team may block or request verification when they run across suspicious profiles or notice certain profile attributes that may not meet our community guidelines." mid-day.com reached out to other dating apps, who remained unavailable for comment. Almost all dating apps have a 'Block and Report' feature to ensure comfort and safety. While a robust verification process is also in place, scammers still manage to make their way through. Legal aspects of safety on dating apps Bhatia highlights an often overlooked aspect on whom the onus of safety and protection also lies – law and order. “We need strong legal compliance and awareness. I should be feeling assured that if at something goes wrong, I will have aid. I know my rights. I know that the law will protect me. I am comfortable going to the police,” she states. Sadly, we’re not there yet. “Questions like ‘Aapko kisne bola tha itni raat ko jaane (who asked you to go this late at night)’ are asked instead of helping victims,” Bhatia laments. She states, “A stringent legal mechanism is required. Why are people careful while driving? Because they are scared that they’ll immediately be caught and punished if they make a mistake or cause any harm. The license will be cancelled and they will have to undergo a trial. This fear is required. I don't think we have established this fear when it comes to cybercrime and harassment.” What does the law say? Several laws can protect users from harassment, cybercrime, fraud and exploitation. Both dating apps and users should adhere to these. Advocate Prashant Mali, a cybersecurity, cyber law and data protection expert, and author, states the laws that can ensure safety on dating apps. 1. Intermediary liability and due diligence - As per the Information Technology (Intermediary Guidelines and Digital Media Ethics Code) Rules, 2021, dating apps are considered intermediaries under Indian law, meaning they must: Ensure safety measures: Apps must establish grievance redressal mechanisms to address user complaints related to abuse, harassment and other safety issues. Content moderation: They are required to remove offensive content (related to harassment, defamation or indecency) within a specific period if flagged by users or law enforcement. User verification: Dating apps must provide an option for users to verify their identities voluntarily, thus reducing anonymity, which can be used to perpetrate crimes. 2. Cyber harassment and stalking IPC Section 354D (BNS Section 78): Cyberstalking or harassment, which is common on dating apps, is a criminal offense under IPC Section 354D. Apps must facilitate users in reporting such offenses and cooperate with law enforcement. Sexual Harassment Laws: Any form of sexual harassment (unwanted explicit messages, obscene behavior, etc.) occurring on these platforms can be prosecuted under IPC Section 354A and Section 509 (BNS Section 76 and 79), which criminalise sexual harassment and indecent behavior. Grievance Redressal Officers: As per the 2021 intermediary rules, dating apps must appoint grievance officers who can handle complaints related to sexual harassment or safety concerns within a stipulated period (typically 24 hours for high-risk complaints). 3. Fraud and impersonation IPC Section 420 (BNS Section 318) (Cheating and Fraud): Dating apps must assist in cases where users are deceived, financially or emotionally, under pretenses, or where impersonation is used to gain personal information or finances. IT Act, 2000, Section 66C (Identity Theft): The IT Act criminalises identity theft, which can occur on dating platforms when users impersonate others. Apps must have verification mechanisms and cooperate with authorities to address such crimes. 4. User privacy and data safety - Dating apps are responsible for ensuring the security of personal data. If a data breach occurs, they may be held liable for failing to implement reasonable security practices under the Digital Personal Data Protection Act (DPDPA). 5. Obligations to report cybercrimes Reporting to Authorities: Dating apps are expected to cooperate with law enforcement by providing user data (such as IP addresses and phone numbers) in cases involving criminal activity or serious safety threats, based on valid legal requests. Child Exploitation and Abuse: Dating apps must ensure they do not facilitate any form of exploitation or child abuse. Under the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act (POCSO), strict penalties apply for any involvement in child exploitation. 6. Anti-obscenity and indecency laws - IPC Section 292 and 294 (BNS Sections 294 and 296) prohibit obscene content and actions. Dating apps must ensure that content uploaded or shared by users adheres to these laws, and indecent behavior can be reported and penalised. 7. Safety features and compliance with law enforcement - Dating apps are encouraged to implement in-app safety features like block, report or panic buttons that allow users to quickly report abusive behavior. They must also maintain a transparent process for escalating complaints to law enforcement in cases of severe threats to a user's safety. 8. Grievance redressal timelines - Dating apps must adhere to strict timelines for addressing grievances. For instance, in cases involving user safety, they must resolve complaints within 24-72 hours, depending on the severity of the issue. Additionally, members also have the duty under the DPDP Act not to provide wrongful data, They can be fined ₹10000 for the same by the Data Protection Board under DPDPA. Tips for navigating the world of dating apps safely When one puts oneself out there on dating apps, both physical and emotional safety become key concerns. Ruchi Ruuh, a relationship counsellor shares the following tips to navigate dating apps, keeping emotional safety as a priority. Take it slow and pace the relationship. Don’t rush into sharing deep personal details. Take time to build trust gradually before opening up emotionally. It’s easy to get sucked into the whirlwind of expectations based on people's profiles and communication. Remember that real connections take time. Keep your expectations realistic to avoid disappointment later. In the world of dating apps, rejection can happen and you must remember that it’s often about compatibility, not your worth or desirability. Recognise red flags: Pay attention to emotional manipulation tactics, such as love-bombing, creating a sense of urgency or guilt-tripping. If someone’s behavior feels overwhelming or inconsistent, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Can one spot potential risks on dating platforms? “It's not a hundred percent possible,” believes Bhatia. However, she suggests some red flags that one can look out for. Don’t trust everything immediately. Please go and cross-check on other social media. Anybody who is working today will have a LinkedIn profile. So, please verify. Don’t be in a rush. Don't get carried away and overshare because that's where we get manipulated. We stop seeing red flags because they start talking the language that we want to listen to. For example, they can see your profile. You have written that you’re looking for a serious relationship. They will converse in such a way they start resonating to what your idea is. That is where we get blinded and we stop being alert. See if it is too good to be true. It's not easy to spot, but if you're aware, you can. Most of these times where people build relationships, there's a lot of social engineering that happens. While they may not really have information on you, you end up giving a lot of information in the way you engage. Ruuh shares the following tips to ensure physical safety: Protect your personal information: Avoid sharing details like your full name, home address, workplace or financial information. Give preference to verified profiles and ask them to do so. Do a quick internet search or check their social media presence to confirm their identity. Trust your instincts: If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t be afraid to end a conversation or leave a date if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Set clear boundaries and expectations beforehand to avoid confusion later. While dating apps provide an opportunity to meet new people and explore relationships, they exist in the cyber world and pose risks that come with the territory. The cyber world, Bhatia believes, is largely a psychological place. “It's not just technology. Technology is the medium to access, but the world that you're entering is largely all about psychological skills. It is very emotionally triggering. Hence, we behave the way we behave. We all know that we are not supposed to share information with unknown people, but we end up doing that,” she explains. She suggests the ‘POV Model’ to ensure cyber safety, especially on dating apps. P stands for ‘practice the pause’. Never should you react, always respond. Response takes time. Take that pause, breathe, and take 10 seconds to reply. Think about it. O is replaced by 0 i.e., zero trust. You cannot trust blindly in the cyber world because it's all behind the screens. V is for verifying. Do not forget to verify everything. *Names changed or only first names used
26 September,2024 09:22 PM IST | Mumbai | Raaina Jain
Dating app, QuackQuack's, latest study on GenZ dating patterns and tendencies found that 47 per cent of GenZ daters prefer taking a slow-paced approach, calling it ‘simmer dating.’ This trend focuses on gradual buildup and emphasises patience while finding a partner. “Simmer dating is a slow-paced journey towards getting to know each other and exploring the connection, instead of rushing the process of commitment and exclusivity. It's about letting the relationship grow organically, and focuses on attracting a healthy partner,” explains the relationship coach Dhana Supriya Chheda. Preethi, a 25-year-old user of QuackQuack, feels that she needs time to get to know her matches. She explains, “I need to reach a level where we have moved on to deeper and what would otherwise be a sensitive conversation like lifestyle choices, religion, politics, etc. You can't rush dating, and you can't commit without knowing where the person stands. Taking it slow is the only way to evaluate whether your ideals and values align with your match.” While Preethi emphasises the need for deeper conversations to assess compatibility beyond superficial factors, 24-year-old Ajay concurs that it's unrealistic to fall in love instantly over chat. The New Delhi resident shares, “While dating online, slow dating is the best approach. It leaves less chance of error. You take some time to find a suitable person, match with her, take the conversation slow to make sure she is comfortable, and then once things are looking good, you decide to meet. That's the only way you will find a real connection.” The participants' answers suggest a shift away from instant gratification in relationships and toward lasting, meaningful connections. Chheda's exploration of this trend offers a comprehensive understanding of its popularity, potential benefits, and drawbacks.Also Read: Zeenat Aman sparks heated debate on live-in relationships: What you need to know Popularity among Gen ZRavi Mittal, founder and CEO of QuackQuack, highlights how the features of dating apps, such as easy connectivity, virtual interactions, and personalised profile browsing, facilitate a slow-paced approach to dating, especially for tech-savvy Gen Z. He shares, “Simmer dating gained traction primarily on dating apps; the ease of connectivity, staying in touch without meeting in person, the option to browse through different people's profiles till they meet the right one, the chance to interact and connect at their own pace- the opportunity for connections to simmer on these apps have a significant impact on the trend and helps promote safe and rush-free dating for youngsters.” "Gen Z are not in a rush, first of all. We don't face the same pressure to settle down as the millennials, which works in our favour. Secondly, we, as a generation, prioritise mindful dating practices and focus a great deal on mental health; to some extent, it's a lesson learned from our predecessors' errors. Simmer dating gives you the best result- fewer rejections and higher chances of a successful relationship, which directly leads to lowering dating-related stress," poses Ajay. Chedda credits the self-awareness of Gen Z, “Younger daters have realised that a committed relationship needs more than initial attraction or chemistry. While the current lifestyle is fast-paced and career-driven, Gen Z is much more aware of their feelings, boundaries, and their needs in comparison to the previous generations. They work on breaking toxic patterns, and pursue healthy relationships by communicating with consciousness and cultivating mutual respect.” How can individuals effectively communicate their intentions and expectations in a simmer dating situation? While taking things slow is a good approach to dating, it can be confusing for many young daters. It becomes critical to effectively communicate your intentions and expectations, Chedda suggests: HonestyBe honest with your intentions, are you looking for a long-term relationship? Are you unsure of a relationship, or are you just exploring the connections? This honesty will help you and others to save time and energy. For example: “Hey! I’m inclined towards creating a healthy and long-term relationship with a like-minded individual who respects and supports my values. What about you? “ BoundariesBe clear on communicating your emotional and physical boundaries. Let the other person know what is okay for you and what is not okay for you. For example: “I don’t prefer casual hookups, what are your boundaries when it comes to your physical and emotional space in dating?” ClarityBe clear on the qualities you are looking for, in a partner. Being specific about your interests can help you attract the one who is aligned with you. For example: “I like when my partner supports me in my goals and makes me feel safe. What qualities are important to you in a relationship?” Be mindfulDating is a wide space and an unknown environment, do not share your past, your secrets, your personal information, or pictures without the other person earning your trust. Let the other person build the trust with consistency. Prefer to share things mindfully as the relationship grows, instead of investing your emotions immediately within 1st or 2nd date. For example: “I don’t think we are that close yet to share my personal details, I prefer to share things as we move further, what do you think?” Connection building datesTry out the type of dates that build more emotional connection such as short coffee dates, visits to the gaming arcades, art therapy, comedy shows, etc. which helps you to create moments and avoid intimate dates initially that focus on sexual tension such as movies, house parties, long dinner dates, and car drives. For example: “I’m not comfortable with long drives on 1st dates, I prefer a short coffee date, and will that work for you? “ Also Read: Love, rain or shine: The ultimate guide to dating in monsoon Challenges and potential drawbacks Hyderabad-based Preethi tells us that not everyone is on board with the simmer dating, and it can be a challenge to find someone equally interested in taking things slow. While Ajay admits it can be frustrating at times, “For instance, when I like a match and would love to meet her ASAP. But it goes against my dating rules, which are there for a reason. The delay is necessary, but it's not a good feeling." Cheddha lists five potential drawbacks of simmer dating: ConfusionAs the individuals don’t have clarity on the level of commitment, this might lead to confusion. They might be left wondering if they should invest their emotions (and how deeply) into the relationship or not. HeartbreaksOne person might develop feelings faster than the other, if both of them are not on the same page, it might result in heartbreak and disappointment Mindless hobbyWithout clear intentions, simmer dating could become a way to simply pass time, by enjoying the attention and socialising without truly seeking a meaningful connection. UnpredictabilityAfter spending lot of time with someone, there is a risk that one person might change their mind, lose interest, or they might shift their attention towards someone else, which will lead to self-worth issues and loss of trust in love for the other. Violation of boundariesThe lack of clear boundaries and surety in simmer dating can lead to boundary crossing, where one might feel like pushing their emotional and physical commitments without exclusivity. Red flags of simmer dating The relationship expert also cautions of red flags in simmer dating that one must watch out for. “Warning signs or red flags while following this approach in dating often involve inconsistencies between words and actions, a lack of emotional investment, mixed signals, and a lack of clarity about future plans. When someone frequently texts but avoids meeting in person, shows little interest in your life, or exhibits negative behaviours like cheating or abuse, it's crucial to be cautious. Remember your partner is only an extension and expansion of who you are! Love yourself enough and let more love be added into your life through your partner,” shares Cheddha. By recognising and addressing these red flags early on, you can avoid wasting time and emotional energy on relationships that are not likely to be fulfilling. Advantages of simmer dating When asked if she believes simmer dating can lead to more fulfilling long-term relationships, Preethi replied instantly, “The more you know about the person, the more prepared you are for any bumps that come along the way. Plus, you know what to expect of that person. There's little scope for terrible surprises and miscommunication due to assumptions in the future." "When you make a conscious effort to know someone beyond the surface level, put in the time to understand their goals, outlooks, personalities, it is bound to make a difference. It leads to better understanding, more trust and respect, and less pressure to rush into a relationship-- all things crucial for a healthy relationship,” adds Ajay. Both seem to suggest that simmer dating aligns with the values of authenticity, transparency, and respect, which are increasingly important in modern relationships. Chedda dives deep into the advantages of simmer dating: ExplorationSimmer dating allows individuals to connect with others without the immediate pressure of commitment, and gives them the space to explore relationships at their own pace. Deeper connectionThe slow-paced journey creates more shared experiences, leading to a deeper emotional connection and better understanding between both individuals DecisivenessThe extended process of getting to know each other helps individuals make the right decisions in choosing their life partner. By the time they commit, they are more confident and fully invested in their choice. Stronger partnershipSpending more time together allows couples to become more comfortable with one another. This creates a solid foundation for working as a team in the relationship, making it easier to support each other and face challenges together in the future. GrowthIn traditional dating, people can mask their behaviours in the early stages, simmer dating allows individuals to be more authentic, and this provides room for growth and self-reflection. They can work on letting go of the behaviours that are no longer serving in the relationship. Preethi concludes by sharing her vision for future relationships, "Taking things slowly has been liberating for me, and taken off the stress to commit. I envision a relationship that makes me feel freer than bound, and is built on open communication without fearing judgment, mutual respect, and the patience to grow together as well as individuals at our own comfortable pace. The simmer dating trend has shown me the beauty in slowing down, and I want to carry that into my future relationship."
13 September,2024 10:36 AM IST | Mumbai | Maitrai AgarwalADVERTISEMENT
