Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

The guilt of cheating my innocent GF is killing me!

Dear Diana,
I've been in a long-distance relationship for two years now. And even though I meet my gal only once or twice a year, I am deeply in love with her. My ex is back in my life, though. I spend time with her. She knows I have another girlfriend but says it doesn't matter to her.
u00a0
While I have become addicted to my ex mentally and physically this thought that I'm cheating someone so innocent (my current girlfriend) is killing me inside. What should I do? I want to tell my GF everything that's happened. Is it okay to do so?

Nitesh
Dear Nitesh,
You definitely have to tell your girlfriend about what has happened. Long distance relationships are tough to maintain, but that is not an excuse to cheat on your partner. It is also tough to explain what happened with your ex to your current girlfriend via a telephone call or email. It will be best if you spill your guts the next time you meet her (and I do hope it is soon).
u00a0
But first, you need to get your priorities straight. Are you sure want to be with your current girlfriend and not with your ex? Ask yourself that. If you are sure, then cut all ties with your ex right away. (She is not the right person for you anyway, as she is not considerate enough to wait for you till you are single again.) Then, get ready for the backlash from your girlfriend.
u00a0
When you tell her what you have done, she is bound to be hurt and break off all ties with you. You have to be ready to do everything you can to win her trust and love back. Also explain to her how much you regret your actions. She may or may not forgive you, but then, you brought this upon yourself.

Be sure that the bond you have with your girlfriend is worth saving. If you are sure it is your ex you really want to be with, then you don't need to tell your GF the truth and add to her heartache. Just break it off, gently.

Had drunken sex, am I at risk for AIDS?

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend broke up with me and I was deeply depressed. A few months later, an old friend came into my life. We went to Goa, drank a lot, lost control and had sex. I'm freaked. Will having sex without protection with more than one person (my boyfriend was the first), lead to me contracting AIDS or any other STD?

Shona
Dear Shona,
You have taken a huge risk by having sex with more than one partner, but it is not too late, if both of them were trustworthy partners. It is also possible that either of them may be infected and may be unaware of it. It will be best if you got yourself tested at a health care centre as soon as possible. And remember to always use protection. One moment of passion with the wrong guy can ruin your life.

I love her, but she doesn't love me anymore

Dear Diana,
I was in a serious relationship with this girl for the past five months. We also got intimate. Suddenly, one fine day, she told me she still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend and can't forget him. I tried convincing her but somehow couldn't. She tells she wants to be with the one she loves. But I do truly love her and want her as my partner. We are not in touch anymore. She knows how I feel for her but chooses to be with her ex-boyfriend. What should I do?

Sid
Dear Sid,
Your girlfriend has moved on (or rather, backwards) in her life. She has been honest with you about it. You should understand that and respect her choice. Every relationship comes with an expiry date. It may be fifty years from now, or in your case, five months.

That's life. You should take your time to mourn the end of your relationship, but one day, you have to move on. Unrequited love really hurts, but all you can do is be positive and learn from the experience. In time, you'll find another love and make a new start.