Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
Dear Diana,
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When I was 19 (I am 24 now) I knowingly had an emotional affair with a married man. We met online. He was honest and told me he didn't love his wife.
I never thought about him again. Now I am engaged and everything is going great... but now I am feeling guilty. I keep thinking of the married man and how I treated him.
At the time I thought it was the wife's fault for allowing him to stray but now that I am in a serious relationship, I see that this is not the case.
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I feelu00a0 terrible and think about it all the time. I wish I could go back and undo what I did. I don't know if the married man's wife found out but if she did I can only imagine her hurt.
I feel terrible and I just don't know what to do. Give me advice, tell me off, do something as I cannot bear to carry this guilt any longer.
DM
Dear DM,
You know you made a mistake, so no one needs to tell you that. Everyone does things they regret, and unfortunately yours is a big one.
Now that you're engaged, you've probably been thinking about what it'd be like if your future husband had an emotional affair. I'd say the best thing for you to do here is to speak to someone about it.
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Confess to your sister, or best friend and get it out of your system. What also might help is writing a letter to that man or to his wife, explaining your feelings. Then throw it away/burn it/shred it.
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(The big part of this is not sending it.) Writing things down simply helps process your feelings and can help you gain a better understanding of why you feel something, particularly strong emotions.
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I know it's easier said than done, but remind yourself that you can't change the past. All I can say is, if it wasn't you then it would have been another girl. So forgive yourself.
He is really childish. Should I stay? Or go?
Dear Diana,
My boyfriend of three years is really childish. I love him, but it's fustrating. Now I've met a guy I'm attracted to and have feelings for.
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I've spoke to my guy about his childish ways and he's not willing to change. Should I leave or hold on still?
AD
Dear AD,
Talk to your guy about his actions again. Make him realise that it is really upsetting you and that you are getting put off by him.
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Make him understand how you feel, and if he doesn't grow up then move on! If he loves you he will come after you. Maybe he will start acting bit more 'grown-up'! If not, let go.
She said there is no future with me, and left...
Dear Diana,
My girlfriend recently left me. The reason she gave me for that is that she didn't see me being the guy she saw herself with in 10 years.
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And I quote, "I'm deepy sorry to have to tell you that. But it's the truth. I just don't see myself with you."
I don't know what to do, I want to tell her, well maybe look at only one day at a time and we'll see how it goes. But her mind is made up.u00a0 What should I do?
Pankaj
Dear Pankaj,
Sorry, but I think you should move on. This girl doesn't see this relationship going any further, and there is nothing you can do or say to change her mind.
She probably was in love with you but that has changed now. She probably still cares for you but doesn't see a future with you.
Perhaps it has to do with compatibility. Or maybe she just has a plan and wants things in life which are different from what you want. Let her go. You will eventually find someone who will see a future with you.
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