We've been in a serious relationship for over a year now. We live in together. One night, we discussed our sexual histories over drinks
Dear Diana,
We've been in a serious relationship for over a year now. We live in together. One night, we discussed our sexual histories over drinks. We didn't talk numbers but she said she had been a "slut" in the first year of college and had slept with many men. Now, I am no saint either but I haven't slept with a large number of girls. Her statement really bothered me because she is only told me this now. I'm having a hard time getting the image out of my head. I know she has been faithful to me since we started dating and this is all in the past but I can't get over this. Will this always play on my mind?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Sexual exploits are best shared and bragged about with friends. You really don't expect your significant other to recount their promiscuous college days. Men more than women find it difficult to forgive their partners for indiscretions in their past. It doesn't matter that the person has been faithful since the relationship began. The worst is the tendency to get insecure over this. The sad thing is, this will only play on, until you allow it to. Everything that bothers you about this, will only serve to make you miserable.
They're making too much of it
Dear Diana,
I'm 17 and I like a boy, a very good friend of mine. He visited my house just once, but my aunts have a problem with it. They don't want me having any guys over though my parents are okay with it. They nag my parents about this constantly, so I have been forbidden from meeting him. I don't wanna stop being friends with him. What should I do?
Natasha
Dear Natasha,
How important are these aunts in the scheme of things? Why do your parents feel obliged to obey them? Figure that out first. Also, in the meantime, behave responsibly around them. They are probably of the impression that it is not the right age for you to socialise with boys or have them over. Prove to them that you can be trusted to behave yourself. In any case, you could rebel and meet this guy nevertheless.
My ex is helping me get pregnant
Dear Diana,
I've been married two and a half years and have only just found out that my husband cannot father a child. I met my ex a few days back and shared my problems with him. We are carrying on and he is helping me get pregnant as he wants to see me happy. He is married as well and a father to boot. I know I am doing this wrong but am unable to control myself. My friends tell me to stop but it's too late now for that. I love him a lot but we can't leave our spouses. What should we do?
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Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Accept that it is too late for advice from well-meaning friends. But also that their words ring true. Nothing good will come of this affair. Even if you think being a mother will bring you happiness and that this fling with your ex will give you that happiness, understand that this is cheating. The fact that you "love him a lot" and "cannot control" yourself is reason enough to stop. In time, you will destroy your respective marriages and the lives of your children. Also, this sounds too improbable. Your husband obviously knows of his problem. Don't you think he will figure it out when you get pregnant that you got "help"? Or God forbid, the child resembles its real father.
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