I'm afraid I won't be as good as the others

This friend of mine has always been a one-night stand kinda guy. He has changed now and says he wants a relationship, that he likes me and can see the relationship going somewhere

Dear Diana,
This friend of mine has always been a one-night stand kinda guy. He has changed now and says he wants a relationship, that he likes me and can see the relationship going somewhere. I know he isn't just for the sex because he has told me he would wait if I asked him to. Thing is, he has been with a ton of girls. I am worried that when we do have sex, I won't be as good. I'm shy and that shows. How do I get better?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Maybe you won't have to. Maybe he will make the extra effort to make you feel comfortable. Once there, it will all follow suit. Ideally, before you get into the sexual act itself, ask him to get himself checked for AIDS and other STDs. Since he's been with "a ton of" other partners, you can never be too sure. Don't let the performance factor unhinge you. The onus is on him to make sure you want the sex as much as he does, when you do decide you're ready.

Give her another chance?

Dear Diana,
My wife has a child from her previous marriage. We've been married five years. I recently found out she cheated on me with her ex. Would she do it again if I forgive her? She said it only happened once and that she is sorry. Should I forgive her?

xyz

Dear Friend,
You cannot truly expect her to forget her ex, but it is totally unbecoming of her to have carried on with him in spite of being now married to you. Don't forgive her that easy. Let her earn it. Make her suffer for a while by holding out. Let her realise that what she did was wrong.

Is it worth staying on for?

Dear Diana,
Is a relationship where you have lied and cannot get yourself to tell the truth, worth staying in? Will the guilt of lying and of having betrayed someone you love, get to be too much? I cannot confess the truth, but don't know if the deception will wind up destroying the relationship.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Any lie, any deceit can erode a relationship and make it fall upon itself like a house of cards. If you lie and cannot tell the truth, obviously, the secret you're hiding is very big. The guilt will eat at you sooner rather than later. Living with a lie is the hardest thing to do.

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