Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
Dear Diana,
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First I want to thank you for all the help you've given me in my time of trouble. I am hoping you will help out this time too. I am in a real mess.
Illustration/Satish Acharya
I am a girl in a relationship with this really lovely girl for the past three and a half months, but we've known each other from childhood. She already has a boyfriend. Before I got together with her, I was the ultimate heart breaker and a flirt, but after meeting her I have changed.
Now I can't bear her absence even for a day, but I wonder if I will ever have her. When we discuss our future, I tell her that she will be the one to dump me and she agrees. It hurts, but I accept it as I am in love with her. I don't want to pressurise her -- if she is happy with her guy, I am fine with it. She tells me I am very understanding but her guy is not. She also tells me that she loves me but loves him more. Lately, we've been fighting and when I try to go away she stops me. I feel that when she needs me, she will love me and other times, shoo me away like a puppy. Last night, I walked out and she wasn't bothered at all. But I am feeling shattered and lonely. I can't live without her.
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
You have to accept that someday you might just have to live without her. She has a boyfriend, and she will get married someday. And she has made it clear to you there is no forever here, so you are just waiting around for the day when she is ready to move on, and will move on.
Surely, you deserve to be treated better. She has known you for a long time, knows you love her and yet she is not ready to make a commitment to you. She is keeping you hanging, and that isn't fair to you. Cut loose. Put yourself first and tell her that you know that the end will come. And you cannot wait around for that day. You've already invested too much into this. Dig deep inside you and find the strength tou00a0 to move on and hold out for a partner who loves you, cherishes you and respects you for who you are.
He is so immature...
Dear Diana,
My boyfriend did not talk to me for two months since I bought a phone that's got features which his hasn't got. He called yesterday to say now he's got a phone better than mine. I don't know if I want to be with someone who behaves so childishly.
Veena
Dear Veena,
Yes, he's behaved very childishly and foolishly. If he stops talking to you over a small thing like that, you certainly need to dump this guy for someone who is more sensitive and less materialistic. I can understand boys and their toys but he's just proved he's not worth it.
My kids are ashamed of me...
Dear Diana,
I am a 45-year-old man, with two teenaged children. I have grey hair. I recently succumbed to the lure of advertising and got my hair dyed. It took me a lot of courage to do it as it was the first time I had ever entered a salon.
When my kids saw me, they were shocked. They said I should not have done it. They refuse to be seen in public with me till my hair gets back to its original colour. They said I was stupid to try to look younger than I was, but that was never my aim. I just wanted to look my best and I love the way I look now. My wife supports me. How do I convince my children?
Shailesh
Dear Shailesh,
Your children are not your minders. The only person other than you who could have a say in this is your wife, and she is supporting you. You can't spend your life first listening to your parents and then your children. Tell your children very clearly that this really does not concern them.
And it's not as if you've coloured your hair orange or grown a mohawk. Everyone dyes their hair and it's no big deal. I know it hurts to have your children disapprove of you, but it is time you took a stand. So long as you do not deviate from your duties towards them, you can live your life the way you want to.
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