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I gained weight and lost the will to change my life

Updated on: 26 October,2010 11:15 AM IST  | 
Diana |

Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

I gained weight and lost the will to change my life

I gained weight and lost the will to change my life

Dear Diana,


I am a mother of three children, with a wonderful husband who loves and cares for us. I don't have the will to do anything ufffd I have maids who take care of all the household work. But when it comes to picking the kids from school, bathing them, taking them to the park, I ask the maids to do it. I just don't feel like doing anything. I want to take my kids out and be a hands-on mom but something holds me back. I want to work out but don't have the will for it, I want to learn to dance the salsa but don't feel like enrolling. I have thought a great deal about it and feel it's because of my weight that I am ashamed. I weigh 95 kgs and maybe that's one of the reasons. It's frustrating to be like this. I want to be out there ufffd taking my kids to the park, picking them from school, learning to dance and working my butt out but there is just nothing driving me to do it. Please help.
Name withheld on request



Dear Friend,
There are two things you could do. Learn to feel comfortable in your skin, and do everything you want to do. Or, you can go out there and get the body you want. The cause of your problem seems to be your weight. The good news is, it is in your control and it is easy to shed kilos. All you need is will power. You seem to have the time and the resources to join a good gym, and enlist the services of a good nutritionist and a trainer. Do it today. If you want a easier way out, then there are tons of clinics that offer liposuction. But I must warn you, chose your doctor with care. Go to a reputed hospital and the best doctor, if you decide to take that route.

There are many hacks out there, ready to take your money, but they are not qualified. And the last thing you want is a health problem. These days liposuction is done laproscopically so there is not major cutting involved. And you can be home in two days. Again, I stress be sure you are dealing with an expert. In my opinion, working out and eating right is the best option.u00a0u00a0u00a0

Are we just friends, or something more?

Dear Diana,
I am 19-year-old guy and I am great friends with this girl I met a few months back. We are very close and we talk all the time. How do I know if I actually like her and it's not an infatuation and also if she likes me?
Name withheld on request

Dear Friend,
You know you are in love when you want to talk to her, and meet her all the time. When you think of her all day, and miss her the minute she leaves you. You know you love her when you start putting her feelings ahead of your own. Don't overthink it. If she's talking to you everyday, she likes you.

I just cannot perform...

Dear Diana,
I'm a 30 year old man and still a virgin. Recently I spent a night with a prostitute. She tried her best, but to my astonishment I just couldn't perform. Since that incident, whenever I've tried to get an erection, I have failed, even when masturbating. Does this mean I'm impotent? Should I consult a hakim or a sex doctor? Do I have to consume any medicine? Thisu00a0 problem is driving me crazy even as my family is pressurising me to get married. What do I do?
Name withheld on request

Dear Friend,
There are any number of reasons why you could not have performed the time you were withu00a0 a prostitute. Maybe you weren't entirely happy paying for sex. Or maybe it was the first-time anxiety. And after that you have probably just worked yourself up too much, worrying aboutu00a0 it happening again. Just stop thinking about it. If this still continues, go and see a sexologist. And he will be able to help you with it. If this started since the time when you decided to pay for sex, I would say it is all in your head. Don't stress about it, and I am sure if there is a problem a doctor will be able to help you. Stop worrying. You are only making this worse by panicking.u00a0

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