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I don't feel guilty about having two lovers...

Updated on: 24 February,2011 07:40 AM IST  | 
Diana |

I've been with my boyfriend for quite a few years now. We plan to get married in a couple of years. I love him with all my heart and feel my future is with him

I don't feel guilty about having two lovers...

Dear Diana,
I've been with my boyfriend for quite a few years now. We plan to get married in a couple of years. I love him with all my heart and feel my future is with him. And yet, I recently started an affair with a super seductive and sexy man who really blows my mind.

The bad thing is: I don't feel guilty at all. I enjoy my time with both of them: very emotional and sweet with my boyfriend and very rough, playful, lighthearted and sexy with my lover.

I love my boyfriend and his being so nurturing and always being there for me and I love the thrill, the sparkle I get with this other man. I love my boyfriend, but I also enjoy having sex with my lover.

And I feel no guilt because I know I love my guy and the other guy is merely a physical distraction. Do you think I'm a bad person for not feeling guilty? Am I just separating love and sex? Or am I being plain slutty?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,

It's okay to have multiple partners or indulge in casual sex, as long as you are not in a committed relationship. But you are getting married to your boyfriend and have known him for years, and what you are doing is just so wrong! How would you feel if he did the same to you?

If he finds out, it will mean the end of your relationship. Is this wild sex you are having worth breaking your boyfriend's heart? You are being selfish. You can't want to be in a relationship, and have sex with other men. If you want that lifestyle, talk to your boyfriend. Perhaps you can have a open relationship or marriage where having other partners won't be a problem. But to do it sneakily behind his back is not fair to him, and that makes you a bad person.u00a0

Saat saal se, have been afraid to say I love her

Dear Diana,

I've been in love with this one girl for seven years now but I haven't found the courage to tell her this. I can't even face her, how can I tell her how I feel about her?


Name withheld

Dear Friend,

Well, then you will just have to find the courage, won't you? Your fairy godmother isn't going to appear and make this happen. You have to do it yourself. Get a common friend to introduce you. Then exchange numbers, and email ids. Get to know her, and then maybe you can ask her out.u00a0

I want kids with this guy. He says, 'No More!'

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend has two kids from a previous marriage. I see myself having children with him in the near future. But he doesn't want any more children. However, he says he will consider it a few years doewn the line. Do I take him at his word and hope he changes his mind after we get married? Should I accept that he doesn't want any more kids and either continue the relationship in this knowledge or break up with him? Aside from this issue we are good together.


Name withheld

Dear Friend,
If you think he will change his mind once you are married, then maybe it isn't the best idea for you to get hitched with him. You know best what sort of guy he is, and if stands by his word. If having a kid is that important to you, you both need to talk about it a lot more beforeu00a0 the d-day. He has kids, so I can understand why he doesnt want anymore. But at the same time, you want to have your own children, and that's fair.u00a0 Explain to him why this is so important to you. Hopefully you both will work this out.u00a0u00a0u00a0


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