Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
Dear Diana,
I am 25 years old. My girlfriend and I have been together for the past six years and love each other very much. However,u00a0 her parents don't agree to the match. She is from a rich family and I am from a middle-class one. There is another objection that her parents have. Earlier, my father used to be an alcoholic. 
Illustration/ Satish Acharya
He has given up drinking now, but her family thinks he still drinks so they are objecting on those grounds, too. When she told her parents that she will marry only me, her father threatened her that he will kill himself then. So my girlfriend has now agreed to marry the man her parents choose for her. I tried to convince her, but this is her final decision.
I cry every minute for her and I know she must be crying for me. She cares for me very much, but took her decision to leave me in my stride because of her father. I can't live without her. Please tell me what I should do so she will come back to me.
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
It has become more of a mindset, really. If the girl's family is from a better-off family, the father usually believes the guy she's in love with cannot provide for her as adequately as his "choice" can. Girls are their fathers' princesses and the papas usually think they know best. What I really feel is that if she did stick by you for six years, she's the real deal.
No hangups of being better off than you, etc. Your father's alcoholism is just an extra excuse to say no. You can offer to live separately. Also, you can sense her father's desperation when he talks of killing himself. It's just talk. Practically speaking and bluntly put, if he did, he'd simply be out of the way and that would make it easier for you and her to come together.
However, the two of you are not that heartless and would rather marry with the blessings of each other's parents. If her father says yes, there's nothing stopping the two of you being together then, is there? So, it is up to you to convince her dad that his daughter means the world to you and that he is free to come after you if you cause her any sorrow or pain. Be firm, stand strong. Nothing else will change his mind if this doesn't.
Too young for sex, too prude for porn?
Dear Diana,
I am 16 and my boyfriend is 17. He says since we are minors and cannot have sex, we should watch porn instead. I am not really keen on doing so, but I don't want to refuse him. What do I do?
Kalpana
Dear Kalpana,
It's called grooming. If you can't do it now, he wants you to understand that it's okay to do "that stuff" when you are of age. Understand this, not everything you see in porn is real or something to be imitated. If you aren't comfortable watching porn or
re-enacting it later on, say so.
My boyfriend keeps it low, I say no!
Dear Diana,
My boyfriend loves wearing low-waisted jeans, which reveal too much when he bends or leans against something. When that happens, I am really embarrassed. And jealous, too... as other girls get to see what should be only for my eyes. I've told him this but but he doesn't want to give it up.
He insists he will wear what he wants to, and when he hasn't told me what to wear and what not to, I shouldn't tell him anything either. He has a point, but I can't control my feelings. What do I do?
Naina
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Dear Friend,
As the girlfriend, I wouldn't grudge your your cribbing. It's just that... you know... don't go overboard with it. Guys won't tell you this but they like it when their gals get jealous when other women ogle at them (rarely ever happens) and more so, when they're "on display".
Of course, he won't want to give it up! And your tirade will only serve to make him defy you. I say, ignore him or rather get your friends to pass negative comments about this dressing trait of his. Sooner rather than later, he should come around. If not, I guess living with it doesn't sound too bad either.
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