'I want to be more than just friends with him...'

I am friendly with this guy, but he does not care for me. He tells me I am his buddy — just one of his pals. However, I am hoping that I mean more to him

Dear Diana,
I am friendly with this guy, but he does not care for me. He tells me I am his buddy — just one of his pals. However, I am hoping that I mean more to him. I have been madly in love with him for a while now. He recently broke off with his girlfriend, so I am hoping that he turns to me. I have been open about my feelings for him after his break up. But I see no signs of him being interested in me. Our common pals tell me that I should just let him be for a while. But I have been dropping hints about my fondness for him. I'm not sure whether he likes me. At the same time, I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm scared I'll be rejected yet again. I don't want to upset him and lose what we have now. I don't think I can handle it — the longer I put it off the more fear I have of losing him. I know for sure that I can never be his friend. What should I do?
— Soniya


Illustration/Uday Mohite 

Dear Soniya,
What your friends are telling you is right. For the time being, just let him be. He needs time to heal his broken heart. He might be in a dejected or, perhaps, irritable mood after his break up, so you might just offend him and lose him as a pal forever. So do not be on an overdrive to express your feelings for him. I think by repeatedly dropping hints, you are pushing him away from you. He is still nursing his broken heart, so give him time to grieve and overcome it. He cannot just turn to you in an instant. He needs time, he needs closure from the relationship which ended. Meanwhile, just hang around like the rest in the group do without any motive. If he likes you, he will turn to you, if not remain his friend and find someone who will reciprocate your love.

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