'I have to choose between my job and her...'

I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the last seven years. We live together. She’s doing well in her career as an educationist...

Dear Diana,
I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the last seven years. We live together. She’s doing well in her career as an educationist. I’m a sports guy and I’ve spent a lot of time and money to become a fully qualified mountain instructor. My issue is that my job is taking me all over the world. I’ve just spent six weeks in the French Alps and on the day of my return, my partner turned round and said if I continue to travel for work, it’s over. I understand having a travelling partner is never going to be easy. However I’ve been offered a position that I don’t think will happen again if I reject. My partner knows about this offer and a few months ago she was all for me taking it. However, this has since changed. She refuses to compromise. She now wants marriage, a home and a kid. I told her this will also happen, but she refuses to wait.
— Sanjay

Illustration/ Amit Bandre

Dear Sanjay,
Your girlfriend is getting insecure when there is no need to. All this while she was okay with your job, so why is it of great concern to her all of a sudden now? There is surely more to it. Or perhaps someone is poisoning her mind. You need to find out what is going on. There are many people out there with jobs that involve travelling. So she just has to understand how to live and cope with it. There is definitely something that has ticked her off, you need to sit down and talk to her about it. Be frank and forthright. You need to know why she is behaving like this. At the same time you need to tell her that marriage and motherhood will also happen in due course. It is not that you are relocating permanently. You take up an assignment that lasts for some weeks. Perhaps she can work out her leave accordingly and accompany you on one such trip. She will then understand better what exactly you do and put any fears to rest.

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