'I don't want to be called the homewrecker...'

I've been involved with a married man for about three years. It is a well-kept secret as we have played it safe

Dear Diana,
I've been involved with a married man for about three years. It is a well-kept secret as we have played it safe. We have been discreet and have promised each other that no one will ever spill the beans about our relationship. For the past month, he has been telling me that he wants to profess his love for me by letting the world know. I am single, but I am scared for him. If he tells the truth to his family and friends, they will not only know about his extramarital affair, but I will be termed as the homewrecker. The fact is, however, I do not want to be termed as such. We got attracted to each other when we met him through work and then continued to meet him off and on till he began telling me about his problems. He gradually told me about his marital blues. We then started talking a lot on the phone and meeting sometimes, mostly car rides in the night. I love him, but do not know how to face the problems that will arise when he tells his family about his affair.
— Pammi


Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Pammi,
It is a wonder that you kept your affair under wraps all this while, but sooner or later, you will get caught. Things will then be messed up. So it is better your guy speaks up. Those who are aware of his failed marriage, might not label you as a homewrecker. But those who do not, will certainly do. His wife, too, will blame you for the trouble in the marriage. But before this, you need to ask yourself a question: Do you trust this man? He has been telling you his problems, but are they for real? You have not met any of his family members, so do not know the true picture. You are going by what he has been telling you all these years. He has been indulging in an extramarital affair and he will have to bear the repercussions. If you want to stick around, then be ready to face the heat or else go your way.

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