'I don't like my fiance's friends...'

I got engaged to this guy five months ago. As it was arranged by our families, we have been hanging out to get to know each other...

Dear Diana,
I got engaged to this guy five months ago. As it was arranged by our families, we have been hanging out to get to know each other. He is busy at work on weekdays, so we get a chance to meet only on the weekends. My fiancé is part of a gang of friends who keep planning weekend bashes and getaways. I don't like his pals at all. There are five guys and three girls in his gang. They are his school/college friends and he is close to them. Some of them who are married also have their spouses as part of the group. I find them irritating and a boisterous lot. They do crazy stuff which I find quite juvenile. He loves to spend time with them and I feel out of place with them. When I tell him how I feel about his pals, he gets annoyed and we end up having a fight. He tells me as I have not maintained contact with my school/college pals, I do not know how to handle it.
— Masooma

 

Dear Masooma,
His pals have been with him for years and you have been on the scene only for the past few months. So he is trying to make you a part of it. Perhaps you get irked that he does not give you much attention when his pals are around. This could be the reason why you get upset. Just because you are engaged to him does not mean that he has to be with you 24/7. By showing your distaste for his pals, you are only distancing yourself from him. There is a place for you and for his pals in his life. They too are important. If you keep showing your disdain for them, he will spend more time with them than you. Strike a balance so that you can spend time with him alone as well as his gang.

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